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Writing Samples
Band 7

The graph below shows consumers’ average annual expenditure on cell phones, national and international fixed-line services in America between 2001 and 2010.

The graph below shows consumers’ average annual expenditure on cell phones, national and international fixed-line services in America between 2001 and 2010.
#consumers’ #expenditure #cell #phones #fixed-line #services #america
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The graph depicts information about the amount of consumer cell phone records nationally or internationally and the final-year expenditure in America over a nine-year period from 2001 to 2010. After analysis, it is clearly seen that in 2001, mobile services, starting from the bottom at 200
dollars
, went on increasing, hitting the same point where they met with international
line
service
 at about 300
dollars
.
Similarly
, it inclined rapidly to its highest rate and met national
line
service
, making up 500
dollars
 after a four-year period (2006), after having a slight drop before it showed the same upward trend.
Moreover
, the number
went on decreasing
Wrong verb form
decreased
show examples
 for the national
line
service
 from 700
dollars
 to 500
dollars
 for the first five
years
,
where
Correct word choice
when
show examples
 it touched phone
service
,
whereas
 it showed the same downward trend for the
last
 five
years
 between 2006 and 2010, reaching almost 400
dollars
.
Furthermore
, for the international
line
service
, the
service
 rose from about 250
dollars
 to 300
dollars
 for the first three
years
; after that, it remained steady throughout the
years
 and did not change its trend from 2003 to 2010.
Overall
, it can be vividly manifested that the graphs showed some fluctuation;
however
, cell phone services gradually enhanced and reached their maximum point,
while
 that of national
line
service
 went on decreasing and hitting its lowest point.
Submitted by abdulahad08600 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words dollars, line, service, years with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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