The table and charts below give information on the police budget for 2017 and 2018 in one area of Britain. The table shows where the money came from and the charts show how it was distributed. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table and charts below give information on the police budget for 2017 and 2018 in one area of Britain. The table shows where the money came from and the charts show how it was distributed.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The chart below illustrates the distribution of private insurance policies in the world,
while
the table illustrates the distribution of areas in which
insurances
Fix the agreement mistake
insurance
show examples
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
used in India, England and Australia.
Overall
,
auto
and
health
insurances
Fix the agreement mistake
insurance
show examples
have the largest proportion of the
overall
share. The other significant feature is that
Englands'
Change noun form
England's
Englands'
show examples
population have the largest number of people with
insurances
Fix the agreement mistake
insurance
show examples
among the other nations.
Auto
insurances
Fix the agreement mistake
insurance
show examples
occupy
Correct subject-verb agreement
occupies
show examples
35% of the
overall
share, which is the biggest proportion compared with the others.
Life
insurances
Fix the agreement mistake
insurance
show examples
has 28% of the total share, which is 3% less than
health
insurances
Fix the agreement mistake
insurance
show examples
. The
last
6% are
insurances
of other types. 25% of
Englands'
Change noun form
England's
Englands'
show examples
population have
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
insurance, which is mainly distributed in
auto
insurances
Fix the agreement mistake
insurance
show examples
, with 10%,
while
health
and
life
insurances
Fix the agreement mistake
insurance
show examples
have 7.9% and 5.7% respectively.
Moreover
,
Africas'
Change noun form
Africa's
Africas'
show examples
insurances
Fix the agreement mistake
insurance
show examples
are mainly used in
health
, with 3.5%, which
double
Add a missing verb
is double
show examples
the number of
life
insurances
Fix the agreement mistake
insurance
show examples
,
while
only 0.4%
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
auto
insurances
Fix the agreement mistake
insurance
show examples
.
Finally
, 15% of the total population in Australia have
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
insurance,
which
Change preposition
of which
show examples
1.9% belongs to
auto
insurances
Fix the agreement mistake
insurance
show examples
, 1.3% to
health
and only 0.5% to
life
.
Submitted by elenazheng1211 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall, while".
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words insurances, auto, health, life with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "illustrates" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Fiscal allocations
  • Revenue streams
  • Budgetary oversight
  • Expenditure
  • Financial appropriation
  • Government grants
  • Local taxation
  • Operational costs
  • Capital investment
  • Public safety
  • Crime prevention
  • Community policing
  • Resource allocation
  • Year-on-year comparison
  • Budgetary constraints
  • Fiscal year
  • Fund disbursement
  • Budget deficit/surplus
  • Trend analysis
  • Financial sustainability
  • Law enforcement funding
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