The pie charts below show the percentage of time working adults spent on different activities in a particular country in 1958 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant

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The pie diagrams compare the proportions of time that employed people of a specific nation spent on various activities in 1958 and 2008.

Overall

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, in both years, citizens were primarily busy working and sleeping.

However

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, in 2008, adults had less chance to go out with others

instead

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, they spent more time travelling to work.

Firstly

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, the working hours of people improved from 1958 to 2008, which rose from 33% to 42%.

While

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the time for sleeping dropped from 32% to 25% in the second period.

Moreover

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, people had more interest in going out with others in the previous year than in 2008, as it was 19% in 1958 but fell to 6% in the latter year. Meanwhile, other activities witnessed slight changes during the period.

Such

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as relaxing at home and travel hours to work increased by 5% and 6%, respectively, though other interests and playing sports rose by 2% in

this

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period.

Submitted by Jasim Uddin Rahat on Tue Nov 14 2023

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

153 words

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