Many parents are unhappy with the amount of violence in video games, TV programs and other leisure activities. How harmful could this be to children? What could be done to solve this problem?
In today's age, video
games
have caught many younger people's attention. However
, it is believed by many parents
that spending too much time playing video games
or sitting in front of screens could affect the health of their offspring. In this
essay, we will explore the underlying causes of this
problem
and propose an effective and practical solution.
To begin
with, one of the causes that concerns
Change the verb form
concern
parents
is the heap of data about irregular activities while
playing. This
means that although
the youngest tried to commence, one of the causes that concern parents
is the heap of data about irregular activities while
playing. This
means that although
the youngest tried to enjoy games
, they were confronted with harsh advertisements and comments. Moreover
, one other aspect of violence while
streaning
is the abusive language or words that affect the minds of their kids. Correct your spelling
streaming
For instance
, the ferocity of playing online has grabbed the attention of many children. Japan is
made the top list to address Verb problem
has
this
problem
. A viable solution is to spend more time with their offspring and make proper schedules. This
will result in less brutality shown in the
video Correct article usage
apply
games
.
Another problem
stemming from leisure activities is overwatching of TV. This
refers to the fact that whatever was seen by adults, they tried to imitate it, not knowing what the outcome would be after watching TV, whereas
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
parents
, especially mothers, often watch dramas or series that Change preposition
of parents
also
influence the mind of their child. India is considered the longer producer of harsh acts and stunts in their dramas or in
movies. To tackle Change preposition
apply
this
issue, producer companies might need to reduce the ongoing action stunts that may favor
Change the spelling
favour
parents
. By implementing this
, we can control the effect before it is seen by children with a
naked eye.
Correct article usage
the
To conclude
, the problem
of spending energy while
playing requires immediate attention and action. By adopting the proposed solution of reducing actions and making a proper schedule for their kids, we can successfully tackle this
problem
with iron hands.Submitted by abdulahad08600 on
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Coherence and cohesion
The essay lacks a clear structure and coherence. The main points are not well-developed and the essay does not fully address the prompt.
Task achievement
The introduction and conclusion are vague and do not effectively summarize the essay. The main points need to be better supported with relevant examples and explanations.