Many parents are unhappy with the amount of violence in video games, TV programs and other leisure activities. How harmful could this be to children? What could be done to solve this problem?

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In today's age, video

games

Use synonyms

have caught many younger people's attention.

However

Linking Words

, it is believed by many

parents

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that spending too much time playing video

games

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or sitting in front of screens could affect the health of their offspring. In

this

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essay, we will explore the underlying causes of

this

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problem

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and propose an effective and practical solution.

To begin

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with, one of the causes that

concerns

Change the verb form

concern

show examples

parents

Use synonyms

is the heap of data about irregular activities

while

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playing.

This

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means that

although

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the youngest tried to commence, one of the causes that concern

parents

Use synonyms

is the heap of data about irregular activities

while

Linking Words

playing.

This

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means that

although

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the youngest tried to enjoy

games

Use synonyms

, they were confronted with harsh advertisements and comments.

Moreover

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, one other aspect of violence

while

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streaning

Correct your spelling

streaming

is the abusive language or words that affect the minds of their kids.

For instance

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, the ferocity of playing online has grabbed the attention of many children. Japan

Verb problem

has

show examples

made the top list to address

this

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problem

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. A viable solution is to spend more time with their offspring and make proper schedules.

This

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will result in less brutality shown in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

video

games

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. Another

problem

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stemming from leisure activities is overwatching of TV.

This

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refers to the fact that whatever was seen by adults, they tried to imitate it, not knowing what the outcome would be after watching TV,

whereas

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majority

Correct article usage

the majority

show examples

Use synonyms

parents

Change preposition

of parents

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, especially mothers, often watch dramas or series that

also

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influence the mind of their child. India is considered the longer producer of harsh acts and stunts in their dramas or

Change preposition

apply

show examples

movies. To tackle

this

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issue, producer companies might need to reduce the ongoing action stunts that may

favor

Change the spelling

favour

show examples

parents

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. By implementing

this

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, we can control the effect before it is seen by children with

Correct article usage

the

show examples

naked eye.

To conclude

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, the

problem

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of spending energy

while

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playing requires immediate attention and action. By adopting the proposed solution of reducing actions and making a proper schedule for their kids, we can successfully tackle

this

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problem

Use synonyms

with iron hands.

abdulahad08600Tue Nov 14 2023

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Coherence and cohesion

The essay lacks a clear structure and coherence. The main points are not well-developed and the essay does not fully address the prompt.

Task achievement

The introduction and conclusion are vague and do not effectively summarize the essay. The main points need to be better supported with relevant examples and explanations.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

339 words

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Many parents are unhappy with the amount of violence in video games, TV programs and other leisure activities. How harmful could this be to children? What could be done to solve this problem?

Many people now undertake extreme activities, from hang-gliding to mountain climbing. Why do people risk their lives in this way, and do you think this is a good trend? Give reasons for your answer, and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Both government investment in public transport systems and reductions in public transport ticket prices will help to reduce transport pollution greatly. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Caring for children is probably the most important job in any society .Because, all mothers and fathers should be required to take a course that prepares them to be good parents. To what extent you agree or disagree.

These days, people work in more than one job, and often change their career several times during their life. What are the advantages and disadvantages?