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Band 2.5

The Diagram below shows the production of ethanol oil from grain.

#production #ethanol #oil #grain
The procedure illustrates the manufacturing of ethanol oil from
grain
.
Overall
,
this
 is a complicated man-made linear process involving 3 main stages: raw ingredients processing, fermentation and distillation.
To begin
 with,
grain
 is harvested by
famer
Correct your spelling
farmers
farmer
 and stored in the storages.
Change preposition
In
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At
Change preposition
In
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 the next step, the
grain
 goes into a milling machine to
crush
Wrong verb form
be crushed
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 into smaller pieces, which are ready
for being
Change preposition
to be
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 cooked. After that, the substances went through the liquefaction process to turn into liquid form, which was prepared for fermentation in a cylindrical tank. After
which
Correct pronoun usage
this
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, the fine mixture went through a period of distillation to separate liquid and solid substances. The liquid is called ‘fuel ethanol’ ready to use,
this
 liquid
stored
Add a missing verb
is stored
show examples
 in cylindrical tanks before ready to be sold in the fuel market.
While
 the solid substances heavier go into a dryer to release water, namely dry distillers
grain
 (DDG), the final products are used in raising animals.
Submitted by phongnguyenthanh630 on

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Task Achievement
Provide a more detailed overview of the process and its significance. Ensure that each stage of the process is clearly described, including relevant technical details.
Coherence & Cohesion
Organize the essay into clear paragraphs, with each paragraph focusing on a specific stage of the process. Use cohesive devices to link ideas and improve the flow of the essay.
Lexical Resource
Enhance the use of specific and technical vocabulary related to the production of ethanol oil. Use a wider range of vocabulary and demonstrate precision in word choice.
Grammatical Range
Pay attention to sentence structure, punctuation, and grammatical accuracy. Ensure that sentences are varied and free from errors to demonstrate a wider range of structures.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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