IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

SOME PEOPLE SAY THAT MUSIC IS GOOD WAY OF BRINGING PEOPLE PF DIFFERENT CULTURES AND AGES TOGETHER. TO WHAT EXTENT DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE WITHTHS OPINION?

#people #music #pf #cultures #ages #withths
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There is a trend for the vast majority of people to hold an opinion that melody is a great way to carry dwellers of contrasting traditions and generations with each other. I completely agree, that it will connect people from disparate cultures and a number of years,
also
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 improve listening skills and to have acquaintances. On the one hand, at present, most of the young generations and adults are likely to listen to operas of different genres.
In particular
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, most of the adolescents even adults do not know the pronunciation of the
words
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 and their intonation. It means that they might have trouble
to
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apply
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having good conversations with other people. So,
while
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 concentrating on the piece, they are likely to improve their manner of speaking and the rise and fall of the
words
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.
However
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, it will depend on the genre that they are listening
.
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to.
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As a result
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 of
this
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, by having better listening abilities, landlords will be able to have good discussions with others.
On the other hand
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, it will give opportunities to have more friends and be able to be in tandem with them.
For instance
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, when one person shares with another about the type of tune that they are listening to and be able to be in the same vibe.
While
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 having dialogue
such
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 as
this
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, the chances of becoming friends will be much higher. Even, if it is all on the Internet.
To sum up
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,
it is clear that
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 by listening to songs, you will not only be aware of some rules of
words
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 but
also
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, have more and more buddies with the same taste in singing. I recommend , more listening to sounds, which will improve your ability to recognise
words
Use synonyms
 and memorise them
Submitted by esenbai0905 on

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task response
The essay partially addresses the prompt, but the ideas are not fully developed.
coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear structure and coherence in presenting ideas. Linking words and cohesive devices are needed to improve overall coherence.
lexical resource
The lexical resource is limited, and there is a need for more varied vocabulary and better word choices to express ideas clearly.
grammatical range
There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the essay. More complex sentence structures and accurate use of grammar are required.
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