IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below show the propotions of british, students at one university in England who were able to speak other languages in addition to English, in 2000 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the propotions of british, students at one university in England who were able to speak other languages in addition to English, in 2000 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The given pie charts provide information about British students who
are
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
 able to speak
another languages
Replace the adjective
another language
other languages
show examples
besides
Linking Words
 their mother tongue in England in 2000 and 2010.The presented charts are
also
Linking Words
 being compared to each other in the same years in percentage. At
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
first glance, it is obvious that not only
do
Correct subject-verb agreement
does
show examples
 the number of British students who cannot speak any other languages decrease
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but
also
Linking Words
 the amount of Spanish being spoken
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
 in 2010 compared to 2000. The first pie chart illustrates that the
most
Fix the agreement mistake
apply
show examples
language which had been spoken after English was Spanish. The rate of
another languages
Replace the adjective
another language
other languages
show examples
 being spoken
were as
Verb problem
was
show examples
 equal
as
Change preposition
to
show examples
 French.
However
Linking Words
, based on
presented
Add an article
the presented
show examples
 chart, the number of people who could not speak a second language was so high in 2000. The interesting point is that the
increasing
Replace the word
increase
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 Spanish being spoken
just
Add a missing verb
is just
show examples
 the same as another language percentage in
second
Add an article
a second
the second
show examples
 pie chart.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 5 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "presented" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: