IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In some cities, there are few controls over the design and construction of new homes and office buildings , so people can build in whatever they like. Do you think advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#cities #controls #design #construction #homes #office #buildings #people
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In these years, Governments did not control seriously
city
 plans,
as a result
,
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
 built apartments and business centres everywhere they wanted. I believe that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 it has more harmful effects on our future lives than benefits.
To begin
 with, Not planned buildings may cause many global issues,
such
 as Global warming, overpopulation and air pollution.
For instance
, If the government did not set rules for construction, people build their houses sides of beaches and rivers where they could feel comfortable themselves.
Firstly
, they drop their litter into the water or nature.
Secondly
, Businessmen can cut trees to build their offices in the
city
 centre because of space problems.
Furthermore
, all people want to live in
city
 centres and
this
 overpopulation argument will increase the unemployment rate
also
.
On the other hand
, Some cities do not have strong control over the construction of their inhabitants. I think it has
also
 a few benefits for citizens, like independence.
For example
, they can build any kind of buildings from old to modern style.
Additionally
, If people want to move to another
city
, they can go to the
city
 and they will build any kind of house with their own idea. In conclusion, I think that Governments must have to control their urban design for safety and economic sides. But they need to give some opportunities for construction.
Submitted by elbekgulomov0 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Ensure that all main points are fully developed and related to the topic. Use specific examples and evidence to support your points.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to the logical structure of your essay. Include a clear introduction and conclusion, and ensure that your main points are well-organized and logically presented.
lexical resource
Expand your range of vocabulary and use more varied and precise lexical resources. Use academic language and avoid repetition.
grammatical range
Work on the accuracy and complexity of your sentence structures. Use a variety of sentence structures and pay attention to subject-verb agreement, verb tense, and word choice.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • controls over
  • design and construction
  • freedom of expression
  • creativity in architecture
  • lack of uniformity
  • unsafe structures
  • implementing guidelines
  • aesthetic appeal
What to do next:
Look at other essays: