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Band 2.5

In some countries, there is not enough respect for elderly people. Why is this the case? Suggest some solutions.

#countries #respect #people #case
There is no doubt that these days the elderly are those who have lived through many cultures and times,The question is In some countries'
culture
Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
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, there is not enough
respect
 for the elderly
?
Change the punctuation
.
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 In
this
 essay
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 am going to
disuss
Correct your spelling
discuss
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
repect
Correct your spelling
respect
 not just
elderly
Change preposition
for elderly
show examples
 people it is important to
respect
 everyone. First of all,In terms of
problem
Add an article
a problem
the problem
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for
Change preposition
of
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 esteem،I
Correct your spelling
think
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tink
Correct your spelling
think
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this
 issue new to the same countries because
obsolete
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
everyone
respect
Change the verb form
respects
show examples
 each other
elderlies
Replace the word
elderly
show examples
 and
youngs
Correct your spelling
young
show examples
 the main reason given to support
this
 claim is that not all new generations are accustomed to respecting or appreciating their elders,
This
 is because education is not as strict as in the past
however
,Negative side to teaching them
respect
 and parents have a role to teach the important
respect
 all the people I believe two away
firstly
 parents teaching them because grow up with them and they have all the time following that apply schools teaching them the role for
respect
. In conclusion,Both statements are valid depending on the actual situation.It is evident that
must
Correct pronoun usage
one must
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 ensure to
learn
Wrong verb form
learns
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 what the important in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life and
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 believe he text of the law for the protection of the elderly must be drawn up,Steps are taken to prevent
this
 phenomenon from developing in the future
this
 is my opinion.
Submitted by gtkmem2019 on

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coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, but they need improvement in terms of clarity and relevance to the topic.
task achievement
There are some relevant main points, but the essay lacks a clear and comprehensive response to the task. More specific examples are needed to support the main points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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