IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Your local newspaper is offering an award for people who have helped the community. Write a letter to the newspaper editor. In your letter suggest someone you think should receive the award describe what the person does to help the community suggest an award that would be appropriate for this person You should write at least 150 words. You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear Sir or Madam,

#newspaper #award #people #community #editor #someone #person #addresses #sir #madam
Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing
this
 letter to suggest a name
Mr.
Add the comma(s)
, Mr.
show examples
 Rakesh Prasad, for the recognition and award he deserves for his contribution to
help
Change the verb form
helping
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 a rural village in India.
Mr.
Change the punctuation
Mr
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 Rakesh Prasad is a reputed and
well known
Add a hyphen
well-known
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 doctor
specialized
Wrong verb form
specialising
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 in treating patients with cardiovascular diseases. Through national
media
Add a comma
media,
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 he came to find out that in a rural village of India people are
dieing
Correct your spelling
dying
 of
heart-attack
Correct your spelling
heart attack
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 and other related cardiovascular diseases
due to
 a cloth
merchandizing
Correct your spelling
merchandising
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 factory
disposing
Add the preposition
disposing of
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 its by-products mixed with harmful chemicals in a local river which was causing
blockage
Add an article
a blockage
the blockage
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 in the arteries of locals when they were using
this
water
 for domestic use
such
 as drinking. Locals were using a generic
water
 purifier which was not enough to remove all the toxic chemicals,
therefore
 he decided to take
Add an article
the matter
show examples
matter
Fix the agreement mistake
matters
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in
Change preposition
into
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 his own hands and using his personal finances came up with a powerful
water
 purifier which used
cholrinification
Correct your spelling
cornification
 and ultra-violet
filteration
Correct your spelling
filtration
 to make the
water
 drinkable again and
also
 supported local villagers to file a
law-suit
Correct your spelling
lawsuit
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 against the factory's malpractice. I suggest that the local government should nominate his name for
Mother
Correct article usage
the Mother
show examples
 Teresa Award and the newspaper should print an article on
this
 person's contribution towards society.
Thankyou
Correct your spelling
Thank you
show examples
, Ishpreet Soni
Submitted by ishpreet2299 on

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Task Achievement
Ensure that the letter fully responds to all parts of the prompt, providing detailed and relevant information about the suggested person and their contributions to the community.
Suitable Writing Tone
Maintain a suitable writing tone throughout the letter, ensuring that formality and respect are consistently maintained.
Coherence and Cohesion
Organize ideas more cohesively, using clear paragraph structures to present information in a logical order.
Lexical Resource
Expand the range of vocabulary used in the letter, incorporating more varied and precise lexical choices to enhance meaning and clarity.
Grammatical Range
Use a wider range of complex grammatical structures and sentence types to demonstrate more flexibility and sophistication in language use.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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