Today our communications, medicine and transport systems all depend on computer technology. Our reliance on computer technology in these fields has created a dangerous situation. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
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It is evident that in recent years, our society has become heavily dependent on
computer
technology
in various fields such
as communication, medicine, and transportation. While
some may argue that this
trend has resulted in negative consequences, I strongly believe that through
advancements in communication and medicine, it has brought incredible benefits to people around the world.
First and foremost, Change preposition
apply
computer
technology
has made maintaining long-distance relationships much easier. Gone are the days when receiving a letter from a beloved would take several days. Nowadays, couples can communicate and even visually connect through seamless video calls, simply with the touch of a button. While
some may argue that physical affection such
as hugs are
absent through Change the verb form
is
this
technology
, I contend that the ability for real-time connection obviates any other drawbacks.
Furthermore
, the computer
data processing system has made an unprecedented improvement in medicine. With electronic medical records, doctors can now access a patient's complete medical history, enabling them to make more informed decisions about their treatment. Patients can also
get their health checked without physically visiting surgeries, making it more time-efficient for both health providers and patients. While
I admit that the vulnerability of this
information to theft is a valid concern, implementing robust security software can effectively mitigate this
issue.
Similarly
, computer
technology
has greatly benefited the transportation sector as well. Travelers
can now book their tickets online, eliminating the need to queue for ticket collection. nowadays, if a backpacker wants to travel to the other side of the world, they can easily Change the spelling
Travellers
check-in
online from the comfort of their own home. Correct your spelling
check in
Also
, resorting
to GPS and other navigation tools, they can easily find their best route avoiding potential traffic congestion and other impediments.
In conclusion, our dependence on Change preposition
by resorting
computer
technology
has made communication with loved ones and medical professionals easier and traveling
more convenient. In my opinion, Change the spelling
travelling
this
has greatly improved our quality of life.Submitted by sheenasedeno on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that the introduction clearly states the writer's position and the main points to be discussed. The conclusion should also provide a succinct summary of the main ideas presented in the essay.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is effective, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. However, the introduction and conclusion could be further developed to provide a more comprehensive overview of the essay's main arguments and position.
task achievement
The essay provides relevant and specific examples to support the main points. However, the use of more varied and precise vocabulary can enhance the coherence and cohesion of the essay.
task achievement
Ensure that the response is complete and directly addresses all aspects of the essay prompt. The writer should also aim for a more comprehensive development of ideas by expanding on the supporting examples provided.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.