Today our communications, medicine and transport systems all depend on computer technology. Our reliance on computer technology in these fields has created a dangerous situation. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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It is evident that in recent years, our society has become heavily dependent on
computer
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technology
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in various fields
such
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as communication, medicine, and transportation.
While
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some may argue that
this
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trend has resulted in negative consequences, I strongly believe that
through
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apply
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advancements in communication and medicine, it has brought incredible benefits to people around the world. First and foremost,
computer
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technology
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has made maintaining long-distance relationships much easier. Gone are the days when receiving a letter from a beloved would take several days. Nowadays, couples can communicate and even visually connect through seamless video calls, simply with the touch of a button.
While
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some may argue that physical affection
such
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as hugs
are
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is
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absent through
this
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technology
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, I contend that the ability for real-time connection obviates any other drawbacks.
Furthermore
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, the
computer
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data processing system has made an unprecedented improvement in medicine. With electronic medical records, doctors can now access a patient's complete medical history, enabling them to make more informed decisions about their treatment. Patients can
also
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get their health checked without physically visiting surgeries, making it more time-efficient for both health providers and patients.
While
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I admit that the vulnerability of
this
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information to theft is a valid concern, implementing robust security software can effectively mitigate
this
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issue.
Similarly
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,
computer
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technology
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has greatly benefited the transportation sector as well.
Travelers
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Travellers
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can now book their tickets online, eliminating the need to queue for ticket collection. nowadays, if a backpacker wants to travel to the other side of the world, they can easily
check-in
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check in
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online from the comfort of their own home.
Also
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,
resorting
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by resorting
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to GPS and other navigation tools, they can easily find their best route avoiding potential traffic congestion and other impediments. In conclusion, our dependence on
computer
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technology
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has made communication with loved ones and medical professionals easier and
traveling
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travelling
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more convenient. In my opinion,
this
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has greatly improved our quality of life.
Submitted by sheenasedeno on

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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is effective, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. However, the introduction and conclusion could be further developed to provide a more comprehensive overview of the essay's main arguments and position.
task achievement
The essay provides relevant and specific examples to support the main points. However, the use of more varied and precise vocabulary can enhance the coherence and cohesion of the essay.
task achievement
Ensure that the response is complete and directly addresses all aspects of the essay prompt. The writer should also aim for a more comprehensive development of ideas by expanding on the supporting examples provided.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • reliance
  • cybersecurity
  • over-reliance
  • digital divide
  • data breach
  • cyberbullying
  • diagnostic machines
  • electronic health records
  • automated vehicles
  • predictive maintenance
  • real-time monitoring
  • vulnerability
  • misinformation
  • hacking
  • efficiency
  • navigation systems
  • traditional skills
  • system failures
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