Doing an enjoyable activity with a child can develop better skills and more creativity than reading. To what extent do you agree? Use reasons and specific examples to explain your answe

#activity #child #skills #creativity #answe

Nowadays

parents

introduce

activities

cobined

Correct your spelling

combined

by joy and creativity for their

offsprings

Fix the agreement mistake

offspring

show examples

develope

Correct your spelling

develop

different abilities rather than just read. I totally agree that

children

should

be expose

Change the verb form

be exposed

show examples

to different and funny ways to learn new

skills

for their

further

learningship

Correct your spelling

learnings

learning ship

journey.

This

essay will discuss how

possitive

Correct your spelling

positive

would it be for

children

to develop different

skills

live

Replace the word

life

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

the past

tow

Correct your spelling

two

show examples

decades

school

Fix the agreement mistake

schools

show examples

and

parents

were

Wrong verb form

have been

show examples

focused

to make

Change preposition

on making

show examples

their

children

learn and create the habits of reading as a part of their development and as

Change the article

show examples

relaxing

activitie

Correct your spelling

activities

activity

As a consequence

, some other

skills

have been forgotten or in some cases never been realised that their offspring has some other abilities that could be explored.

However

, some studies these days involves

parents

and

school

to introduce different enjoyable

activities

that

helps

Change the verb form

help

show examples

to explore

children

skills

For example

, extracurricular

activities

school

such

as music, plastic arts,

swimming

Correct word choice

and swimming

show examples

among other

sport

Fix the agreement mistake

sports

show examples

have

been

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

shown the progress and the benefit that

childre

Correct your spelling

children

are getting with their practice. Leading in their future career path a

differnt

Correct your spelling

different

options to be

choosen

Correct your spelling

chosen

by them with all the

skills

development that they have been exposed in their

school

or on their free time. Another positive aspect is the stress

relese

Correct your spelling

release

that

this

Change the determiner

this activity

these activities

show examples

activities

could provide. Some

children

are

diagnoseticated

Correct your spelling

diagnosticated

diagnosticate

with stress and

axiety

Correct your spelling

anxiety

at their

ealiest

Correct your spelling

earliest

ages, so it is important to offer them different

activities

that contribute to

diminish

Wrong verb form

diminishing

show examples

their stress

level

Fix the agreement mistake

levels

show examples

and

meanwhile

Add a comma

meanwhile,

show examples

they are learning new

skills

and

enjoy

Wrong verb form

enjoying

show examples

them. A good example for some

yougest

Correct your spelling

youngest

is participate

Change the verb form

is participated

is participating

show examples

in a football tournament, where they will experiment

the

Change preposition

with the

show examples

joy to share with their friends,

learn

Correct word choice

and learn

show examples

strategies as a team player with the aim of

win

Wrong verb form

winning

show examples

. In conclusion,

activities

with develop

Change preposition

to developing

show examples

new

skills

chidren

Correct your spelling

children

are beneficial to them

for

Change preposition

show examples

future

Correct article usage

the future

show examples

. I would strongly

recomend

Correct your spelling

recommend

Change preposition

that

show examples

parents

introduce as

much

Correct quantifier usage

many

show examples

as they can enjoyable

activities

to their

children

because it will be the first step to

develop

Wrong verb form

developing

show examples

skills

that even they do not know their

offspings

Correct your spelling

offsprings

offspring

could have it.

Submitted by mantonieta.albarracin on Wed Nov 15 2023

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Coherence and Cohesion

Build stronger topic sentences for each paragraph to clearly signal the main point. Use linking words and phrases to connect ideas more effectively.

Task Achievement

Expand on the examples and provide more specific details to fully support the main points. Develop a more thorough response to the task question.

Lexical Resource

Work on using a wider range of vocabulary. Consider using more sophisticated and precise vocabulary to enhance the essay.

Grammatical Range

Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar usage. Use a variety of sentence structures and make sure to demonstrate a higher level of grammatical accuracy.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
44Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

338 words

4.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Doing an enjoyable activity with a child can develop better skills and more creativity than reading. To what extent do you agree? Use reasons and specific examples to explain your answe

Fully explain your ideas

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There have been calming that Covid-19 vaccines have not been tested for their long-term effects, so people should not get vaccinated

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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Parents are the best teachers. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. You should give reasons for your answer using your own ideas and experience.