IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The pie graphs show the nutritional consistency of two dinners. Write a report to a university lecturer describing the data.

The pie graphs show the nutritional consistency of two dinners. Write a report to a university lecturer describing the data.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
A glance at
two
Correct article usage
the two
show examples
 pie graphs provided reveals a sharp
comparision
Correct your spelling
comparison
 of nutritional consistency between medium baked
potato
Use synonyms
 and macaroni, measured in
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.
Overall
Linking Words
,
cacbonhydrates
Correct your spelling
carbohydrates
carbohydrate
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 the majority
propotion
Correct your spelling
proportion
 in both mentioned dinners. In terms of medium baked
potato
Use synonyms
, no other
propotions
Correct your spelling
proportions
promotions
 are as high as
cacbonhydrates
Correct your spelling
carbohydrates
 which accounts for
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
35%, closely followed by protein with 25%.
Meanwhile
Add a comma
Meanwhile,
show examples
 glucose and other nutrients both make up the same
propotion
Correct your spelling
proportion
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 15% and the least significant number with 10%
takes
Wrong verb form
taken
show examples
 up by saturated fat. With regard to macaroni, an overwhelming majority of nutritional consistency is constituted by
cacbonhydrates
Correct your spelling
carbohydrates
 with approximately
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
half of the pie chart.
At the end
Linking Words
 of the scale,
although
Linking Words
 saturated fat makes up the most insignificant part with 21%, it is double compared
that
Change preposition
to that
show examples
 of
medium
Add an article
a medium
the medium
show examples
 baked
potato
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, there are two nutrients, which
takes
Correct subject-verb agreement
take
show examples
 up 11%, namely protein and glucose. Meanwhile other nutrients accounts for 5% which is one-third that of
potato
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 80%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words potato with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • nutritional consistency
  • carbohydrates
  • proteins
  • fats
  • vitamins
  • minerals
  • fiber
  • proportion
  • component
  • pie graph
  • comparison
  • significant
  • balance
  • healthy
  • dietary choices
  • implications
  • absent
  • presence
  • macro-nutrients
  • micro-nutrients
What to do next:
Look at other essays: