Many things that use to be done in the home by hand are now being done by the machines. Does this development bring more advantage or disadvantage.
Nowadays, many tasks
which
were done by Correct pronoun usage
apply
hands
before, Fix the agreement mistake
hand
instead
, people are currently using electrical gadgets for the job to be finished.Personally, I believe that machines can simplify our lives, however
, appliances are more expensive to use.
First of all, one major advantage to consider is,
Remove the comma
apply
simplification
of house chores.Humans are now using washing machines to wash their clothes, washer is much easier when washing, Correct article usage
the simplification
moreover
, less labour is aquired
.Correct your spelling
required
acquired
For instance
, persons
can do double activitiesReplace the word
people
ones
, cooking delicious meals Correct pronoun usage
apply
while
washing
machine is running.Correct article usage
the washing
Furthermore
, sweeping is also
another work which was used to be done by hands
, but recently, Fix the agreement mistake
hand
familes
are using hoovers to clean their apartments Correct your spelling
families
due to
it's
fastness and easier Correct your spelling
their
to
workChange preposition
of
with
.Change preposition
apply
For example
, using a broom to sweep the house, it
takes about 20-30 minutes, but if a person uses Correct pronoun usage
apply
vacuum
cleaner, it will be Correct article usage
a vacuum
lesser
than that.Correct word choice
less
Therefore
, it is clear that
apparatuses can change our way of living and saves
us time.
Correct subject-verb agreement
save
On the other hand
, some of the devices needs
Change the verb form
need
eletricity
to function, Correct your spelling
electricity
as a result
of this
, electrical machines are not economical as compared to human beings use
their hands and it's only energy required.To add on, heavy instruments Wrong verb form
using
such
as clothes washer can demands
more power especially, during the period Change the verb form
demand
drying
and the bills will Change preposition
of drying
also
increase and
sometimes these tools bring a lot of diseases Correct word choice
apply
such
as laziness which lead to less independent
.Replace the word
independence
Hence
, using electrical apparatus to serve other jobs in life, it
is costly.
Correct pronoun usage
apply
To conclude
.I believe that,
Remove the comma
apply
this
development brings better lives and easierness to some handworks, whilst, it also
needs money to pay the
source of power.Change preposition
for the
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task response
Work on providing a balanced argument with clear examples, and address all parts of the essay question.
coherence and cohesion
Organize ideas more clearly with a proper introduction and conclusion, and ensure a logical flow between paragraphs.
lexical resource
Expand your range of vocabulary and use more precise and appropriate word choices in varied contexts.
grammatical range
Work on sentence structure, punctuation, and grammatical accuracy to enhance clarity and coherence.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?