Many things that use to be done in the home by hand are now being done by the machines. Does this development bring more advantage or disadvantage.

Nowadays, many tasks
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
were done by
hands
Fix the agreement mistake
hand
show examples
before,
instead
, people are currently using electrical gadgets for the job to be finished.Personally, I believe that machines can simplify our lives,
however
, appliances are more expensive to use. First of all, one major advantage to consider is
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
simplification
Correct article usage
the simplification
show examples
of house chores.Humans are now using washing machines to wash their clothes, washer is much easier when washing,
moreover
, less labour is
aquired
Correct your spelling
required
acquired
.
For instance
,
persons
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people
show examples
can do double activities
ones
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apply
show examples
, cooking delicious meals
while
washing
Correct article usage
the washing
show examples
machine is running.
Furthermore
, sweeping is
also
another work which was used to be done by
hands
Fix the agreement mistake
hand
show examples
, but recently,
familes
Correct your spelling
families
are using hoovers to clean their apartments
due to
it's
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
fastness and easier
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
work
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
.
For example
, using a broom to sweep the house,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
takes about 20-30 minutes, but if a person uses
vacuum
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a vacuum
show examples
cleaner, it will be
lesser
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less
show examples
than that.
Therefore
,
it is clear that
apparatuses can change our way of living and
saves
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save
show examples
us time.
On the other hand
, some of the devices
needs
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need
show examples
eletricity
Correct your spelling
electricity
to function,
as a result
of
this
, electrical machines are not economical as compared to human beings
use
Wrong verb form
using
show examples
their hands and it's only energy required.To add on, heavy instruments
such
as clothes washer can
demands
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demand
show examples
more power especially, during the period
drying
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of drying
show examples
and the bills will
also
increase
and
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apply
show examples
sometimes these tools bring a lot of diseases
such
as laziness which lead to less
independent
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independence
show examples
.
Hence
, using electrical apparatus to serve other jobs in life,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is costly.
To conclude
.I believe that
,
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apply
show examples
this
development brings better lives and easierness to some handworks, whilst, it
also
needs money to pay
the
Change preposition
for the
show examples
source of power.
Submitted by cajaah93 on

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task response
Work on providing a balanced argument with clear examples, and address all parts of the essay question.
coherence and cohesion
Organize ideas more clearly with a proper introduction and conclusion, and ensure a logical flow between paragraphs.
lexical resource
Expand your range of vocabulary and use more precise and appropriate word choices in varied contexts.
grammatical range
Work on sentence structure, punctuation, and grammatical accuracy to enhance clarity and coherence.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Efficiency
  • Time-saving
  • Precision
  • Consistency
  • Carbon footprint
  • Resource depletion
  • Self-sufficiency
  • Expenditure
  • Physical exertion
  • Sedentary lifestyle
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