IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that students in single-sex schools perform better academically. Others, however, believe that mixed schools provide children with better social skills for adult life. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

While
Linking Words
 it is sometimes thought that
students
Use synonyms
 in single-sex
schools
Use synonyms
 perform better academically.
However
Linking Words
,other people believe that mixed
schools
Use synonyms
 provide
children
Use synonyms
 with better social skills for
adults
Change the noun form
adult
show examples
 life. In my opinion, I consider that
study
Replace the word
studying
show examples
 in single-sex
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
 is better for the
students
Use synonyms
 to give their best without any distractions.
One
Correct your spelling
On
show examples
 the one hand, some people think that
children
Use synonyms
 are better able to relax around other
children
Use synonyms
 of the same sex.
In other words
Linking Words
,
children
Use synonyms
 feel comfortable with their
same sex
Add a hyphen
same-sex
show examples
 And
confidence
Add a missing verb
have confidence
show examples
 in
himself
Correct pronoun usage
themselves
show examples
 without any feeling
shame
Change preposition
of shame
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
, in
Yemen
Add a comma
Yemen,
show examples
 most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
 make
separation
Add an article
a separation
the separation
show examples
 between the sexes to let them give their best.
As a result
Linking Words
, every
sexual
Replace the word
sex
show examples
 will focus on his own studying without forcing on
others
Change noun form
others'
other's
show examples
gender
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, when the two
gender
Use synonyms
 studies together have many
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
problems
such
Linking Words
 as fighting and rape. Agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, it is often believed that
children
Use synonyms
 need
experience
Fix the infinitive
to experience
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
interacting with the opposite sex, when the two sexual studies study together they will learn from each other.
For instance
Linking Words
, in UK
schools
Use synonyms
 they make
students
Use synonyms
both
Change preposition
of both
show examples
Use synonyms
gender
Fix the agreement mistake
genders
show examples
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
study together to create
better
Add an article
a better
show examples
 environment.
Hence
Linking Words
, learning in a coed environment can help foster respect, understanding, and empathy between genders.Another reason is that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 It can help to reduce
gender
Use synonyms
 stereotypes and create an atmosphere of equality. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
 may vary in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
opinion, I think that
students
Use synonyms
 should be separated. If they make
schools
Use synonyms
 one single-sex
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
all
the
Change preposition
over the
show examples
 world, they would create a great environment with
best
Add an article
the best
show examples
 education system.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Ensure that your essay fully addresses all parts of the question with clear, well-supported ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Try to organize your ideas more coherently and use transition words to connect your ideas together.
lexical resource
Expand your vocabulary and use more precise and varied language to express your ideas.
grammatical range
Pay attention to sentence structure, use a variety of sentence structures, and check for common grammatical errors.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • minimize distractions
  • gender-related learning styles
  • tailored learning environment
  • sense of empowerment
  • underrepresented
  • bridge the gender gap
  • emulate real-world environments
  • promoting interactions
  • communicate and collaborate
  • break down gender stereotypes
  • mutual respect
  • inclusivity
  • well-rounded individuals
What to do next:
Look at other essays: