IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

‘Children do not respect their parents as much as they did in the past. This behaviour is now having a negative impact on society.’ Discuss.

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Numerous youngsters have been changing their behaviours which are caused by technological advancement. Adults argue that these behaviours make
children
Use synonyms
 have the wrong manners,
such
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 as they do not admire aged people like in the past.
this
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 behaviour has a negative effect on the overview of the community. I will discuss
this
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 issue in my essay.
Firstly
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, the negative impact on the family institution. If
children
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 do not respect their
parents
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, it can damage relationships among family members.
Furthermore
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, the
parents
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 might lose self-esteem in order to teach their
children
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.
For example
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, several
parents
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 have deep sorrow and sadness when they realise that
children
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 do not respect them.
As a result
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, the collapse of the family institution leads to bad consequences for
society
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.
Secondly
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, the negative impact on the overview of
society
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. the most of problems in
society
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 arise from family, because
children
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 have to spend more time with their family.
Parents
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 have a huge influence on
children
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.
For instance
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, Disrespect for adults causes
children
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 to become aggressive. When youngsters have negative manners, they are more likely to be bad citizens of the country. As we can see, a lot of young generations have become addicted to drugs and become a murder.
To conclude
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, teenagers disrespecting their
parents
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 can cause a multitude of problems in
society
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. Because negative behaviour causes family institutions to break down. when the family can not provide a positive upbringing for
children
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,
finally
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 they become bad citizens of the country.
this
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 problem comes from family to the workforce of the nation.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that introduces the main idea of the paragraph. Use transition words and phrases to connect ideas and create a logical flow throughout the essay.
task achievement
Work on providing a more complete and comprehensive response to the essay question. Make sure to fully address all aspects of the prompt and provide more specific examples to support your arguments.
lexical resource
Expand your vocabulary and use a wider range of lexical resources to express ideas more precisely and effectively. Avoid repetition of words and phrases.
grammatical range
Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar. Use a variety of sentence structures, tenses, and grammatical forms to demonstrate a strong command of the English language.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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