IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

The graph below give information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020 with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The graph below give information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020 with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
#information #percentage #population #four #asian #countries #cities #predictions #features #comparisons
The graph illustrates data regarding the proportion of the total
number
 of people in
Indonesia
, Malaysia,
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
 and Thailand living in urban areas from 1970 to 2020 with predictions for 2030 to 2040
Overall
, it is clearly apparent that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 the percentage of
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
 of people living in cities in
Indonesia
, Malaysia,
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
 and Thailand will experience an upward trend over the
period
. At the beginning of the
period
, the total
number
 of inhabitants in urban areas in Malaysia was 30% and increased
further
 to about 47% in 1990, from which it experienced a steady rise and it is expected to have a
population
 of almost 90% in 2040.
However
,
Indonesia
 recorded the lowest
number
 of inhabitants
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
city
 in 1970, it started off with a little above 10% at the beginning of the
period
, which was the lowest percentage and
predicted
Add a missing verb
is predicted
show examples
 to experience an upward trend
at the end
 of the
period
 with about 62%. In 1970,
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
 had a little about 30%
people
Change preposition
of people
show examples
 living in the
city
, which was the highest in that year as compared to the other countries within that same time
period
 . It experienced
flactuation
Correct your spelling
fluctuation
fluctuations
through out
Correct your spelling
throughout
show examples
 the
period
 where it crossed
path
Fix the agreement mistake
paths
show examples
 with
Indonesia
 in 2010 and is
predicated
Correct your spelling
predicted
show examples
 to have a
population
 of about 55% in 2040. Whiles Thailand in 1970 had about 20% of its
population
 living in the
city
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and experienced a steady increase
there of
Correct your spelling
thereof
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
30% in 1990, the
number
 of
city
 inhabitants
then
 experienced
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
relative stability from that
period
 to 2020 after which it is
extimated
Correct your spelling
estimated
 to rise to about 44% in 2040 which is the country with the least predicted
city
population
.
Submitted by mnanaa69 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words number, indonesia, population, period, city with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 6 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: