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Band 6

The table below gives information about changes in modes of travel in England between 1985 and 2000. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Average distance in miles travelled per person per year, by mode of travel

The table below gives information about changes in modes of travel in England between 1985 and 2000. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Average distance in miles travelled per person per year, by mode of travel
#information #changes #modes #travel #england #summarise #features #comparisons #distance #miles #person #year #mode
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The table figure below illustrates data
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the usage rate of different
travel
Use synonyms
 modes in England which have shown some change based on the travelled
distance
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the span of 1985 to 2000.
Overall
Linking Words
, the sum of the travelled
distance
Use synonyms
 in
miles
Use synonyms
is showing
Wrong verb form
shows
show examples
 an upward trend, going from around 4700
miles
Use synonyms
 in
Use synonyms
year
Change the article
the year
show examples
 1985 to just under 6475
miles
Use synonyms
 in
Use synonyms
year
Change the article
the year
show examples
 2000.
Although
Linking Words
 the
overall
Linking Words
 total result is going in a positive trend, not all of the
travel
Use synonyms
 modes are growing equally.
Firstly
Linking Words
, it is apparent that some
travel
Use synonyms
 methods
shown
Add a missing verb
have shown
show examples
 an increase in the total
distance
Use synonyms
 traveled, with
Car
Correct article usage
the Car
show examples
 as the
travel
Use synonyms
 method which
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 the largest surge of a whopping 1600
miles
Use synonyms
 resulting in a total of 4806
miles
Use synonyms
 which
constitute
Correct subject-verb agreement
constitutes
show examples
 more than
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
half of the total travelled
distance
Use synonyms
.
Similarly
Linking Words
, several other
travel
Use synonyms
 methods are
also
Linking Words
 showing quite promising growth with
Train
Fix the agreement mistake
Trains
show examples
, Long
distance
Use synonyms
bus
Fix the agreement mistake
buses
show examples
, and other
travel
Use synonyms
 methods showing positive
trend
Fix the agreement mistake
trends
show examples
 in the smaller scale with the sum of
distance
Use synonyms
 growth under the 100s with 366
miles
Use synonyms
, 124
miles
Use synonyms
, and 585
miles
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, several transportation modes are being used less
frequent
Change the word
frequently
show examples
 in
Use synonyms
year
Change the article
the year
show examples
 2000 compared to
the
Change the article
apply
show examples
1985. The most diminished transportation mode is the Local bus which almost lost half of the total mileage travelled, going from 429
miles
Use synonyms
 to under the three
hundreds
Change to singular
hundred
show examples
. Showing a similar result
although
Linking Words
 less drastic is the Bicycle which
shown
Wrong verb form
showed
show examples
 a slight decrease of 10
miles
Use synonyms
, resulting in a mere 41
miles
Use synonyms
 in
Use synonyms
year
Change the article
the year
show examples
 2000.
Submitted by febrinhidayat on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "although, overall".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words travel, distance, miles, year with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 2 times.
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