IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

some people think that private-sector education is better than public-sector, do you agree or disagree?

Education
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 is a strong foundation of human development. It empowers
the
Correct article usage
apply
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people
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 to chase their dreams and make the world a better place. No
maters
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matter
show examples
, whether it’s done in
private-
Correct word choice
the private
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sector
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 or
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public-
Correct your spelling
public sector
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sector
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, the most important thing is to get
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education
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an education
the education
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 and have a desire to continually acquire knowledge through
education
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. Private-
sector
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 versus
public-
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sector
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education
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is
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has been
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 a challenging topic for
people
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 to debate
on
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apply
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it
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apply
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for decades and
both
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 of them have
its
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their
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 own advantages and disadvantages. As
for
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far
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 as I am concerned, based on the quality of
education
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 in
both
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 sectors can vary widely depending on location and the specific institutions involved. Some
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public-
Correct your spelling
public sectors
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sector
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 provide a first-class
education
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,
while
Linking Words
 certain
private-
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private sectors
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sector
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 may underperform. I will include my point of view in
this
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 regard, I am in favor of private
sector
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education
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 and it’s because of many reasons
such
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 as
,
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apply
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 Mutual
respect
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 from
both
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 teachers and students, better facilities,
comfortable
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a comfortable
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 study environment, up-to-date lesson-learn
technics
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techniques
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, and most
important
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importantly
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 not wasting individuals time.
On
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In
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the
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apply
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complete contrast,
public-
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sector
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education
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 is really weak in all the previously mentioned points, but it has its own advantage, as it is affordable for all
people
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 which means all
kind
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kinds
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 of
people
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 can
get
Verb problem
apply
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benefit
of
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from
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 it. As stated earlier, Mutual
respect
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 from
both
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 teachers and students in the private
sector
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 is a great emotion which
make
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makes
show examples
 students more focused
to
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on
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 their study. It does not mean that in
public
Add an article
the public
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sector
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 there is no mutual
respect
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, indeed there is mutual
respect
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, but
comparing
Wrong verb form
compared
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 to the private
sector
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, unlikely the result would be very low, and
this
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 is the main cause that
people
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 and so am I will be in
favor
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favour
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 of private-
sector
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education
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.
Moreover
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, private-
sector
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education
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 often has better facility arrangements in terms of funding and recourses, technology integration, and essentially
parents
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parents'
parent's
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 involvement in all activities.
In addition
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,
comfortable
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a comfortable
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 and silent study environment is another advantage of private
sector
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education
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 which can lead to a better student-to-teacher ratio by having smaller
size
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sizes
show examples
 and specific classes and
this
Linking Words
 often results in more personalized attention and a conducive learning environment. In brief,
education
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 is an important tool for personal growth and making the world better, whether it's pursued in the private or public
sector
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. What truly matters is the desire for continuous learning and knowledge gaining.
Private-
Correct your spelling
The sector
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sector
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 has its advantages like mutual
respect
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, good facilities, and modern teaching methods.
While
Linking Words
 public
education
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's affordability ensures accessibility to all.
Both
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 sectors have their strengths, and the choice often depends on individual preferences and circumstances. The choice depends on what works for individuals, as
both
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private
Correct article usage
the private
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sector
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 and public
sector
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 have their good and bad sides. It's important to see the options and pick what's best for
peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. The introduction should outline the main points to be covered, the body should delve into each point with coherent arguments and examples, and the conclusion should summarize the essay's main ideas.
task achievement
Your essay addressed the topic, but you must ensure that your response directly answers the question asked, whether you agree or disagree. Make your position clear throughout the essay without deviating from the question.
task achievement
Provide specific examples to support the points you discuss. Generic statements need to be substantiated with clear, detailed examples which are directly relevant to your argument.
coherence cohesion
Use a variety of complex structures to improve the expressiveness of your essay. Demonstrating a range of grammatical forms and avoiding repetitive sentence structures will enhance the overall coherence and sophistication of the piece.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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