IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The diagram below gives information about the number of parcels delivered by two major mail services companies from 1920 to 2000.

The diagram below gives information about the number of parcels delivered by two major mail services companies from 1920 to 2000.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The line charts give statistical
data
Use synonyms
 from 1920 until 2000 about the achievement packages delivered using
FedEx
Use synonyms
 and
TNT
Use synonyms
 post services.
In addition
Linking Words
, the
data
Use synonyms
 shows information based on the numbers of
mail
Use synonyms
 two biggest companies. In general, the line chart had fluctuating
data
Use synonyms
.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the majority value of
TNT
Use synonyms
company
Use synonyms
 had increased.
Besides
Linking Words
 that,
FedEx
Use synonyms
 had the highest decreasing
number
Use synonyms
 of delivered
mail
Use synonyms
. Regarding increased
data
Use synonyms
, we can see the highest increased gradient of package
mail
Use synonyms
 delivery of
TNT
Use synonyms
 from 1980 until 1990, where the
number
Use synonyms
 delivered in 1980 the approximately 11000
mail
Use synonyms
 delivered. Meanwhile, in 1990, The
TNT
Use synonyms
company
Use synonyms
 had reach sent
mail
Use synonyms
 to 22000
parcels
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, we can get information
TNT
Use synonyms
company
Use synonyms
 had growing services. In terms of the decreased value of
FedEx
Use synonyms
, the highest decreased
number
Use synonyms
 of delivered
parcels
Use synonyms
 from 1940 until 1950, where the
number
Use synonyms
 of sent
parcels
Use synonyms
 used
FedEx
Use synonyms
 in 1940 got sent
mail
Use synonyms
 the approximately 24000 package
parcels
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, in 1950,
FedEx
Use synonyms
company
Use synonyms
 failed to protect the consumer. The effect is the rate of delivered
parcels
Use synonyms
 by
FedEx
Use synonyms
 decreases until approximately 14000
mail
Use synonyms
sent
Add a missing verb
is sent
show examples
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words data, fedex, tnt, mail, company, number, parcels with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "numbers of" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 3 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: