IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

In many countries, financial crimes involving identity theft is increasing. What are the causes of this trend, and what effect does identity theft have on the victims involved? Give reasons for your answer, and provide ideas and examples from your own experience.

#countries #crimes #identity #theft #trend #effect #victims
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Nowadays technologies are used for financial
frauds
Fix the agreement mistake
fraud
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. There
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 increasing
finacial
Correct your spelling
financial
 crime using
idnetity
Correct your spelling
identity
 theft has been a significant issue in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society. In
this
 essay, I will discuss some of the causes and solutions
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
 problem. The most significant problem is
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
electronic banking
frauds
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fraud
show examples
 using
thefted
Correct your spelling
theft
 credentials. It
is believe
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is believed
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 that approximately five hundred million
dollers
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dollars
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in
show examples
financial theft
happening
Wrong verb form
happens
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 every year in the electronic banking sector.
In contrast
, there are only less than 10
percent
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per cent
show examples
 of total banking fraud
is
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apply
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happeing
Correct your spelling
happening
 through conventional banking methods. To prevent
this
 banks should
develope
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develop
stronger technologies for
internet
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Internet
show examples
 and mobile banking.
As a result
, credibility and security will increase in the modern banking systems.
Furthermore
, another significant issue is the financial transactions using the electronic
identity
 of others . Several incidents are reported that
fiancial
Correct your spelling
financial
 transactions are using
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
false
identity
. To illustrate, In several agencies are under police investigation in
Duabi
Correct your spelling
Dubai
 for money
launderd
Correct your spelling
laundering
 using
thefit
Correct your spelling
their
identity
. To resolve
this
 issue, the authority has to
develope
Correct your spelling
develop
 a clear process to relate electronic identification documents and
Correct article usage
the
show examples
orginal
Correct your spelling
original
 person, and require to
develope
Correct your spelling
develop
 stricter laws to
privent
Correct your spelling
prevent
this
. In conclusion, Financial crimes are increasing using
identity
 theft
especially
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, especially
show examples
 in
electronic
Add an article
the electronic
show examples
 banking sector. The government should act to protect
people
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people's
show examples
 money and provide them financial security.
Submitted by ck.manshad on

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Introduction
The essay lacks a clear introduction that sets the context and states what will be discussed. It's important to have a strong introductory paragraph that outlines the structure of your essay and engages the reader.
Conclusion
The conclusion should summarise the key points of the essay effectively, but it should also reflect the complexities of the essay topic and provide a resolution or call to action.
Coherence and Cohesion
Organize ideas clearly and coherently with appropriate paragraphing. Use a range of cohesive devices accurately and effectively to indicate the logical relationships between ideas.
Task Achievement
Address all parts of the task by fully responding to the prompt. Both causes and effects need to be discussed in a balanced way, with clear and comprehensive ideas relating to the question.
Lexical Resource
Use a range of vocabulary precisely and flexibly to convey precise meanings and avoid repetition. It's essential to use the correct forms of words and to proofread for any spelling errors that could obscure meaning.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Use a variety of complex sentence structures fluently and flexibly. Pay attention to punctuation and make sure sentences are grammatically correct and clearly convey your ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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