IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In the past most working people had only one job. however, nowaday is more and more people have more than one job at the same time. what are the reasons for this development? what are the advantages and disadvantages of having done one job?

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Having
single
Add an article
a single
show examples
 job was popular for
people
Use synonyms
 in
previously
Change the word
previous
show examples
 years,
theas
Correct your spelling
these
 days, being multi
jobs
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 is
Add an article
an increase
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increase
Wrong verb form
increasing
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 among
people
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 a lot
,.
Change the punctuation
,
.
show examples
 There are some results in it, that are related to
people
Use synonyms
's lifestyle, so I would
argued
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argue
show examples
 both its benefits and harmful aspects. In fact, there are some results in the person's
life
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, who prefer to take two or more
jobs
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.
Firstly
Linking Words
, when the person
tend
Change the verb form
tends
show examples
 to choose multiple
jobs
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, certainly, the management time would be improved by their ability.
Besides
Linking Words
, handling time
both
Change preposition
in both
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
occupation
Change to a plural noun
occupations
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 is crucial
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 their survival.
Secondly
Linking Words
, discovering the person's talents related to their ability
in doing
Change preposition
to do
show examples
 different activities, so,
this
Linking Words
 kind of
choices
Fix the agreement mistake
choice
show examples
 in
jobs
Use synonyms
assisstant
Correct your spelling
assistant
 them to
acquisition
Replace the word
acquire
show examples
 them.
For instance
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, many
people
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 are doctors for treating their patients,
likewise
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 University Processor.
Finally
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, being multi worker would require some equipment and technological facilities to improve their activities, like individual acts or their action related to the
jobs
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
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, some benefits
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
are in personal
life
Use synonyms
 among
people
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,
hence
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, we cannot ignore its disadvantages. Obviously, the advantages are causes in developing
Use synonyms
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
Use synonyms
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
 that are results of their
jobs
Use synonyms
 would be different.
Such
Linking Words
 as increasing their income, because of two or more received salary.
Also
Linking Words
, creating more communication
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 a variety
Use synonyms
people
Change preposition
of people
show examples
 related to their occupations, eventually, improving
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their level of
life
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. Regardless
of
Correct pronoun usage
of this
show examples
, these kinds of advantages are more popular and
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
show examples
 for
people
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. The harmful aspects of doing Multi
jobs
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is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 increasing. From my point of view, the restrictions on time to visit family members or Friends group is a disappointment factor, because of their run schedule.
Also
Linking Words
, their health would be
indangered
Correct your spelling
endangered
, because they do not have
suitable
Add an article
a suitable
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 plan for doing
rutine
Correct your spelling
routine
 exercise and providing
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 Balance diet plan. Eventually.,their lifestyle would be impacted
of
Change preposition
by
show examples
 their busy schedule
lead
Wrong verb form
leading
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 to depression or tiredness.
Linking Words
Whereas
Correct word choice
However
show examples
 we should not attention
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 these aspects the advantages or the disadvantages, because they are complicated together. In conclusion, in my opinion, having some
jobs
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 can
be affected
Wrong verb form
affect
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
's
Use synonyms
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
 by considering
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 benefits and
drowbacks
Correct your spelling
drawbacks
, it would be important, because many
people
Use synonyms
 tend to
aacquirethese
Correct your spelling
acquire
opportunities
Correct determiner usage
these opportunities
show examples
.

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Introduction and Conclusion
You should provide a clear introduction stating the topic and your position. There was an attempt at an introduction, however, it lacked clarity and coherence.
Logical Structure
Ensure that the essay has a logical structure with distinct paragraphs for introduction, main points, and conclusion. The main points were somewhat developed, but the overall structure was disorganized.
Main Points and Support
Do provide clear and distinct main points that are well-supported by examples or explanations. Your essay had main points, but they were not always well-explained or exemplified.
Task Response
Make sure to fully address the task, including all parts of the prompt. The response was somewhat relevant, but there were issues with developing a comprehensive answer.
Relevant Examples
Ensure that examples given are directly relevant and clearly illustrate your arguments. There was a lack of relevant and specific examples to support your arguments.
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