In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?
It is argued that an increasing number of individuals are interested in looking for
information
about the past of the house or building they live in. The reason why people
want to know about the history of the place they live is to ensure that the area is safe, and people
can find information
on the Internet
or asking
their neighbours.
Change the form of the verb
ask
People
want to ensure that where they live is safe and that nothing strange had
happened before. Wrong verb form
has
This
is because there are houses which are sold at a very cheap price because of death or crime had happened
in the building. And when these cases Verb problem
apply
happens
, is very difficult to sell the house, since a lot of Change the verb form
happen
people
are not willing to live there. For instance
, Chinese people
do not like to live in places where suicides and death had
happened, because it brings bad luck.
One way to know who lived in the house beforeWrong verb form
have
,
is by asking Remove the comma
apply
people
that have live
in the area, since they will know who lived there before and the reason why they want to sell it. Wrong verb form
lived
Also
, individuals can look for information
on the Internet
. Nowadays, the Internet
has information
about everything, so the only thing that people
need to do is put the address and what they want to know. For example
, there are some webpages
in which Correct your spelling
web pages
people
are able to watch the evolution over the years of a specific area.
In conclusion, the reason why individuals want to find out about the past of the place they live in,
is Remove the comma
apply
for making
sure that they are in a Change preposition
to make
save
place, and Replace the word
safe
people
can look for this
information
by asking others or searching on the Internet
.Submitted by elenazheng1211 on
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coherence cohesion
The essay could be significantly improved by creating a clearer logical structure. Ideas need to be presented in a more organized manner with better use of paragraphing and linking words.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that the introduction and conclusion are more developed, providing a clear thesis statement and a summary of the main points discussed in the essay.
coherence cohesion
The main points should be supported with more detailed explanations and a range of examples. Ensure these examples are relevant to the question and provide depth to the argument.
task achievement
You need to fully address all aspects of the task. This includes not only explaining reasons for people's interest in their living place's history but also exploring more diverse methods of how they can research this.
task achievement
Ideas should be expressed more comprehensively by expanding on the reasons and ways people research the history of their homes, ensuring that the response feels complete.
task achievement
Use more precise and varied examples to illustrate the points made in the essay. Specific examples help to strengthen the argument and make the essay more persuasive.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite
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