IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is argued that an increasing number of individuals are interested in looking for
information
Use synonyms
 about the past of the house or building they live in. The reason why
people
Use synonyms
 want to know about the history of the place they live is to ensure that the area is safe, and
people
Use synonyms
 can find
information
Use synonyms
 on the
Internet
Use synonyms
 or
asking
Change the form of the verb
ask
show examples
 their neighbours.
People
Use synonyms
 want to ensure that where they live is safe and that nothing strange
had
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
 happened before.
This
Linking Words
 is because there are houses which are sold at a very cheap price because of death or crime
had happened
Verb problem
apply
show examples
in the building. And when these cases
happens
Change the verb form
happen
show examples
, is very difficult to sell the house, since a lot of
people
Use synonyms
 are not willing to live there.
For instance
Linking Words
, Chinese
people
Use synonyms
 do not like to live in places where suicides and death
had
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 happened, because it brings bad luck. One way to know who lived in the house before
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 is by asking
people
Use synonyms
 that have
live
Wrong verb form
lived
show examples
 in the area, since they will know who lived there before and the reason why they want to sell it.
Also
Linking Words
, individuals can look for
information
Use synonyms
 on the
Internet
Use synonyms
. Nowadays, the
Internet
Use synonyms
 has
information
Use synonyms
 about everything, so the only thing that
people
Use synonyms
 need to do is put the address and what they want to know.
For example
Linking Words
, there are some
webpages
Correct your spelling
web pages
show examples
 in which
people
Use synonyms
 are able to watch the evolution over the years of a specific area. In conclusion, the reason why individuals want to find out about the past of the place they live in
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 is
for making
Change preposition
to make
show examples
 sure that they are in a
save
Replace the word
safe
show examples
 place, and
people
Use synonyms
 can look for
this
Linking Words
information
Use synonyms
 by asking others or searching on the
Internet
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
The essay could be significantly improved by creating a clearer logical structure. Ideas need to be presented in a more organized manner with better use of paragraphing and linking words.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that the introduction and conclusion are more developed, providing a clear thesis statement and a summary of the main points discussed in the essay.
coherence cohesion
The main points should be supported with more detailed explanations and a range of examples. Ensure these examples are relevant to the question and provide depth to the argument.
task achievement
You need to fully address all aspects of the task. This includes not only explaining reasons for people's interest in their living place's history but also exploring more diverse methods of how they can research this.
task achievement
Ideas should be expressed more comprehensively by expanding on the reasons and ways people research the history of their homes, ensuring that the response feels complete.
task achievement
Use more precise and varied examples to illustrate the points made in the essay. Specific examples help to strengthen the argument and make the essay more persuasive.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Historical research
  • Genealogy
  • Architectural styles
  • Heritage
  • Relics
  • Oral history
  • Archival records
  • Museum exhibits
  • Historical societies
  • House tours
  • Renovation projects
  • Original blueprints
  • Careful documentation
What to do next:
Look at other essays: