The use of social media is replacing face-to-face interaction among many people in society. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

In recent years, as
social
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the social
a social
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network has infiltrated every corner of life, it comes as no surprise that virtual communication is replacing in-person meetings. From my perspective, the advantages that accompany
this
trend are more significant than its drawbacks. On the one hand, there is no doubt that social network has broken barriers of communication and taken it to a whole new level.
Firstly
, the availability of a wide range of social
media
platforms has multiplied the sheer number that
people
can interact with on a daily basis.
For example
, there are many
people
who have thousands of Facebook friends from different areas and countries, but they can easily keep in touch and interact with one another, without having to see each other in person.
Secondly
, digital
media
facilitates information transport in terms of working and education.
According to
a survey at Hanoi Medical University, the majority of students find it easier to access school notifications and news on the Facebook page, rather than on the official website or on the notice board.
In addition
, several digital
media
networks include group chats which not only aim to gossip with friends but
also
serve as a useful tool for teamwork among colleagues and classmates.
On the other hand
, the overuse of social
media
also
comes
along with
several negative impacts on the public.
To begin
with, it has led to a decrease in face-to-face interaction which results in the lack of emotional connection
as well as
the degradation of social skills among many
people
. In fact, children who are exposed to digital
media
at early ages are more likely to be incapable of carrying on a regular conversation or expressing their emotions to others, which are two basic standards of humankind.
Furthermore
, social
media
users are being tracked by their personal information, posts or even conversations on their social accounts by marketing plans and cyber crimes. Many
people
are frequently bothered by spam calls or spam messages and more severely, some of them get scammed of money by cybercriminals. In conclusion, the widespread influence of social networks is a double-edged sword. It serves as a powerful communication medium, but society needs to take steps to minimize its drawbacks by limiting the number of hours spent on social
media
,
in particular
with children.
Submitted by phanhuyhoang278 on

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Task Response
Ensure greater task achievement by expanding on the implications of the points discussed and addressing the comparative aspect of the question more directly ('Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?').
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay demonstrates strong coherence and cohesion, with a clear logical structure and a well-present introduction and conclusion. Continue to practice transitioning smoothly between ideas to enhance readability and flow.
Lexical Resource
To improve your essay's lexical resource, be cautious of word repetition and strive to use a broader range of vocabulary to express your ideas. Synonyms and less common phrases can help enrich your language usage.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Your grammatical range is good, but there is room for improvement. Be mindful of subject-verb agreement and the use of tense. Varied sentence structures will also contribute to a higher score in this criterion.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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