The media pay too much attention to the lives and relationships of celebrities such as actors, singers or footballers. They should spend more time reporting the lives of ordinary people instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowdays
Correct the word
Nowadays
show examples
,
Effect
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the Effect
show examples
Media
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of Media
show examples
towards
People
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People's
show examples
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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is massive. There are
statement
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statements
show examples
in
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apply
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regarding to
Media’s
Attention which is tend to Famous
People
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People's
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lives than ordinary
people
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people's
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lives. Honestly,
i
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I
show examples
disagree about
this
quotation because
i
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I
show examples
believe that both of them are equal in
term
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terms
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of
influence
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influencing
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society in
this
modern century. In
this
essay, we will
describing about
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describe
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how
media’s
concern
to affect
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affects
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to
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apply
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society
in
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on
show examples
two sides.
Majority
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The majority
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of
some
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apply
show examples
individuals always have
tendency
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a tendency
the tendency
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to follow
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the well
a well
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well known
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well-known
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person
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people
show examples
.
Moreover
, it
happen
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happens
show examples
as nature because
people
’s
habbit
Correct your spelling
habit
habits
is indeed looking up to someone who
have
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has
show examples
achieved
succeed
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success
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in term of career or even
financial
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finances
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.
For Example
, in my hometown FakfaK In Indonesia,
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citizens
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citizen
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citizens
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in general always
update
Wrong verb form
updated
show examples
about information
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apply
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that
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apply
show examples
Correct article usage
the media’s
show examples
Correct article usage
the media’s
show examples
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media
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media’s
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media
show examples
Fix the agreement mistake
reports
show examples
report
Fix the agreement mistake
reports
show examples
concerning Mamat Alkatiri who
Add a missing verb
is as
show examples
Correct your spelling
a
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as
Correct your spelling
a
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public
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a public
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figure. On
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
hand,
story
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stories
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about common
people
become another interesting issue that
people
want to know from
Add an article
the mean
a mean
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mean
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means
show examples
of
media
.
Media
could
gives
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give
show examples
Add an article
a report
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report
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reports
show examples
about unfamous lives that attract
people
’s energy to face
hard
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a hard
show examples
life.
For instance
, many real
story
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stories
show examples
in my country Indonesia
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
report about how common
people
reach
point
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the point
a point
show examples
that
other
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others
show examples
want with sophisticated travel. Apart from that, there
are
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is
show examples
negative information that
come
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comes
show examples
from
Correct article usage
the media’s
show examples
media’s
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media
show examples
news
such
as hedonism and bad attitude
whice
Correct your spelling
which
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
people
should not
to
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apply
show examples
follow. In conclusion, I think it is literally
positif
Correct your spelling
positive
value if
Media
Correct article usage
the Media
show examples
can be wise to balance
regarding
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the content
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
because
People
will be empowered by success
story
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stories
show examples
which
is affecting
Wrong verb form
affect
show examples
their
personality
Fix the agreement mistake
personalities
show examples
and spirit as well which come from
media’s
Correct article usage
the media’s
show examples
capture
about
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of
show examples
life
Add an article
the life
show examples
of either well-known or ordinary person. Yet,
People
also
be
Verb problem
have
show examples
Correct article usage
the responbility
show examples
responbility
Correct your spelling
responsibility
to filter how information
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
they receive.
Submitted by muhammadluthfidzulfikar on

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lexical resource
The essay shows frequent grammatical errors and a limited range of vocabulary, which affects the clarity of the argument. It would benefit from proofreading and vocabulary enhancement.
task achievement
Your response partially addresses the prompt, but a clearer stance throughout the essay would strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
The logic and structure of the essay can be improved by presenting ideas more coherently and using cohesive devices effectively.
grammatical range
The essay contains several spelling and punctuation errors. Attention to editing and correcting these would improve the readability.

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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
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