The health benefits of physical exercise are well known. Despite this, many people do not exercise regularly. what are the reason for this? What could be done to encourage them to exercise regularly?
Regular physical
exercise
has been recognized as an essential component of a healthy lifestyle due to
its variable health benefits. However
, despite people
know
the advantagesWrong verb form
knowing
very much
, they Rephrase
apply
are fail
to implement Change the verb form
fail
an
regular Change the article
a
exercise
plan in their daily. This
essay aims to discuss about
the reasons why and propose several ideas to improve the phenomenon.
First and foremost, Remove the preposition
apply
for
the city Change preposition
apply
people
, no matter students or adults, they
are busy with their work. Correct pronoun usage
apply
Due to
the incredibly sizeable workload, they would not have time, energy and mood for doing
Verb problem
to
exercise
in the gym
room after they finished their jobs. Therefore
, although
people
know the importance of doing sport
regularly, they give up to do so.
Furthermore
, the societies are not able to provide enough sport
facilities to Change the noun form
sports
people
. According to
my daily observation, the gym
room
provided by the Fix the agreement mistake
rooms
government
in different communities are pretty small while
the private gym
rooms are extremely expensive that
some Correct word choice
and
of
Change preposition
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
people
might not able
to Add a missing verb
be able
afford
. It is widely believed that if the Correct pronoun usage
afford them
government
willing to spend more in Add a verb
government is
government was
Correct article usage
the sport
sport sectors
, doing Fix the agreement mistake
sports sector
exercise
can seeps
Wrong verb form
seep
int
Correct your spelling
into
people
Change noun form
people's
life
more easily.
In a bid to encourage Fix the agreement mistake
lives
people
to do more exercise
under these situation
, the Change the determiner
this situation
these situations
government
could rise
Correct your spelling
raise
the
public awareness by promoting easy Correct article usage
apply
sport
. Fix the agreement mistake
sports
For instance
, walk instead
of ride when going to companies or schools from home.
Moreover
, the government
and the gym
centre can distribute some coupons for
the public. By Change preposition
to
cresting
economic incentives, Correct your spelling
creating
people
might be more willing to step out the
first step.
In conclusion, it is believed that creating a healthy community is not that easy, but if the stakeholders can collaborate and plan in Change preposition
of the
a
long term, there is no denying that the society can be developed Correct article usage
the
into
Change preposition
to
next
level in Correct article usage
the next
a
long term.Correct article usage
the
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task achievement
It is important to begin the essay with a clear introduction that sets the context and states the main points that will be discussed. This essay lacks a clear thesis statement in the introduction.
coherence and cohesion
Keep a consistent tense throughout your essay. This essay switches between past and present tenses erratically, which can confuse the reader and disrupt the flow of your argument.
task achievement
Make sure that you develop your main points fully. This essay touches on various reasons and solutions but does not explore them in depth. Include more specific examples and detailed explanations to support your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Use a range of linking words and phrases to connect your ideas and paragraphs. This essay demonstrates some use of cohesive devices, but there is a need for greater variety and accuracy.
grammatical range
Avoid spelling and grammatical errors as they can hinder communication. This essay contains multiple errors which need to be corrected.
lexical resource
Work on your lexical resource by using a wider range of vocabulary to express your ideas more precisely. This essay relies on simple and sometimes repetitive language.
task achievement
Ensure that your conclusion summarizes the main points of your essay and restates your position. This essay's conclusion could be stronger by clearly summarizing the previously discussed points.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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