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Band 4.5

In many countries, people are moving away from rural areas and towards urban areas. Why do you think that is? What problems can this cause?

#countries #people #areas
A large number of individuals who
born
Add a missing verb
were born
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 in
Add an article
the country
show examples
country side
Correct your spelling
countryside
show examples
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 been moving to urban
areas
.
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
This
 is mainly because of the lack
job
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of job
show examples
opportunities
 and
difficult
Replace the word
difficulty
show examples
to find
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in finding
show examples
 public
services
such
 as
healt
Correct your spelling
health
, education and security. There are a number of
solution
Fix the agreement mistake
solutions
show examples
 which should be implemented to deal with migration to the city.
Firstly
, the main reason for moving to
city
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the city
show examples
 is
finding
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to find
show examples
job
Add an article
a job
show examples
 and
build
Wrong verb form
building
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the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 career by using huge
job
opportunities
.
In other words
, people living in rural
areas
has
Verb problem
do
show examples
 not a lot of choice to work because
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the cities
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 developed industrial and trade networks.
Secondly
, There are several problems
abaout
Correct your spelling
with
 public
servcies
Correct your spelling
services
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
rural
areas
that
is
Correct your spelling
as
show examples
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of health, security and education systems which makes people move toward urban
ares
Correct your spelling
areas
. There are two effective solutions to the problem of moving away from country
ares
Correct your spelling
areas
. One way to tackle
this
 is to ensure that all people from rural
ares
Correct your spelling
areas
 has enough
job
 opportunity that
open
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opens
show examples
 to build
career
Add an article
a career
show examples
 and sufficient income
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 live
quality
Correct article usage
a quality
show examples
 life in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
rural
ares
Correct your spelling
areas
area
. Another method of dealing with
lack
Correct article usage
the lack
show examples
 of public
services
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
rural
areas
 is investing and providing public
services
. By doing
this
, it will help them to stay in the rural
areas
 because they will have
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
 to work and public
services
 to live
comfortable
Change the word
comfortably
show examples
. In conclusion, the migration from rural to urban
areas
 is driven by limited
job
opportunities
 and inadequate public
services
. To address
this
, ensuring rural
job
opportunities
 and improving public
services
 are crucial steps.
Submitted by utkankorkmaz on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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