Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
In today's society, people are divided on an opinion whether
children
gain better societal knowledge from parents
or school. I believe that a good balance between these mediums is the more reasonable desision
.
Correct your spelling
decision
Great
many people hold that it is best to let institutional facilities Change the article
A great
to
provide Fix the infinitive
apply
children
with necessary
ethical sense. Correct article usage
the necessary
While
it is true that schools accomodate
students with a consistent social life, it is important as to not be Correct your spelling
accommodate
exessive
by introducing too many new classes that concern just societal life as a chance is present that they might overshadow the regular ones which are by far Correct your spelling
excessive
of
greater importance. Change preposition
apply
Furthermore
, students are already stressed as they are, and attending more classes only worsens the stress.
On the other hand
, some people claim that parents
do a better job at giving their children
sense
of how to be a thriving and good member of society. Add an article
a sense
For instance
, they might add that parents
know their children
best and have better ideas of what the children
's inherent personalities are, which they may in turn utilize to pivot them in the most appropriate direction. Though I do, for the most part, concur, however
a vital point they overlook is that some Add the comma(s)
however,
parents
might not do as a constant guide. Therefore
, a more feasible conclusion would be to leave nurturing their children
to centres that specialize in this
.
As
Change preposition
In
a
conclusion, with everything taken into Correct article usage
apply
account
I would say that it depends. It will not do to have Add a comma
account,
children
learning with an inappropriate guide for day-to-day life.Submitted by dnm.best on
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coherence and cohesion
Ensure a clear and logical structure to your essay. While you have made an attempt at setting out both sides of the argument and your own opinion, the development of ideas could be more coherent and logically sequenced to enhance readability and understanding.
task achievement
In task response, your essay does address the prompt however the depth of exploration into both views as well as your own opinion is not sufficient. Be sure to expand on your ideas in greater detail and provide specific examples where applicable for a stronger argument.
lexical resource
Expand your lexical range to include a variety of sentence structures and vocabulary. The use of more advanced and topic-specific language would improve the quality of your essay.
grammatical range and accuracy
Work on your grammatical range and accuracy by incorporating complex sentence structures and checking for correct verb tenses, article usage, and prepositions. Errors can detract from the clarity of your writing and make it more difficult for the reader to understand.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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