Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

#people #parents #children #members #society #school #place

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Some

people

Use synonyms

think that

parents

Use synonyms

should teach

children

Use synonyms

how to be good members of

society

Use synonyms

. Meanwhile, others

believes

Change the verb form

believe

show examples

that school is the place to learn

this

Linking Words

. Upbringing -

essential

Add an article

an essential

show examples

part of our life. Majority of

people

Use synonyms

thinks

Change the verb form

think

show examples

that

parents

Use synonyms

should teach

children

Use synonyms

how to be a good member of

society

Use synonyms

Parents

Use synonyms

gave

Wrong verb form

give

show examples

birth to their

children

Use synonyms

and have responsibilities on them until their adulthood. Upbringing is

some

Correct determiner usage

show examples

skills

Fix the agreement mistake

skill

show examples

that

transmits

Wrong verb form

is transmitted

show examples

from parent to

Use synonyms

children

Fix the agreement mistake

child

show examples

. That’s why

parents

Use synonyms

should teach kids not others.

Parents

Use synonyms

spoil their

children

Use synonyms

by giving and doing everything they want. And

children

Use synonyms

grow up selfish.Lack of education can’t not

Fix the infinitive

apply

show examples

affect

Change preposition

apply

show examples

personality. If a person not have been taught by basic rules of etiquette and behavior, it would

harder

Add a missing verb

be harder

show examples

to join

society

Use synonyms

Society

Use synonyms

would avoid selfish and spoiled

people

Use synonyms

therefore

Linking Words

they

Add a missing verb

are closes

show examples

closes

Change the verb form

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

themselves. What am I for?

Parents

Use synonyms

should give upbringing

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but with discipline. On the other hand, some

people

Use synonyms

claim that

school

Fix the agreement mistake

schools

show examples

should give up

Submitted by dnm.best on Thu Nov 16 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

structure

Ensure that you have a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion to structure your essay. Your essay lacks a clear conclusion, thereby affecting its logical structure.

task response

Make sure to address the prompt completely. Your essay does not fully discuss both views or give a well-developed personal opinion.

coherence and cohesion

In order to score higher for coherence and cohesion, use a range of linking words and phrases to show the relationship between ideas, and develop your paragraphs fully.

task completion

Your essay abruptly ends and seems unfinished. Make sure to complete your thought and provide a balanced discussion before concluding.

task response

Use specific examples and explanations to support your points. Your essay has very few specific examples which make your main points less convincing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

2
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

161 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

good members of society
teach
parents
schools
responsibility
values
respect
empathy
responsibility
formal education
citizenship
ethics
social responsibility
lead by example
role models
conducive environment
extracurricular activities
community involvement
collaborate
holistic approach

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
More and more people today are spending large amounts of money on their appearance in order to look younger. Why do people want to look younger? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
It goes without saying that every human being in the world have an enormous desire to be attractive, gorgeous and of course look young. Nowadays, we have a tendency among individuals in senior age, who spend a lot of money in order to change their appearance considerably. Let me examine both sides of this issue before making a concrete decision about the ramifications of this trend.
<4
band
It has been suggested that cars and public transport should be banned from city centres and only bicycles be allowed instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
On days,due to traffic it is suggested to prohibit public transportation in the cities replacement with bikes. I completely agree with this statement because it will be good for the environment as well as for the local public.
5.5
band
In some countries, people these days spend little time with their children. What are the causes of this? Whome does this affect more, parents or children?
Citizens of certain states tend to take little time with their kids. In this essay we will look at the variety of reasons causing this shift and its possible impact both on parents and children.
4.5
band
Some people think that volunteering should be a mandatory part of high school education. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.
The idea of making volunteering a mandatory part of high school education has sparked considerable debate. Proponents argue that volunteering instills essential values such as empathy, teamwork, and social responsibility. It allows students to engage with their communities, understand societal challenges, and develop practical skills that are beneficial in both personal and professional contexts. Volunteering experiences can also enhance students’ resumes and college applications.
6.5
band
WRITING TASK 2 Write about the following topic: In the future, people may no longer be able to pay for things in shops using cash. All payments may have to be made by card or using phones. Do you think this will happen one day? Why do you think some people might not be happy to give up using cash? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Today, electronic payments are used in a wide range of regions. The majority of the population agrees that it brings massive convenience to their everyday lives as they don't need to carry cash all the time anymore. Based on this trend, I believe that business owners will replace cash payments with e-payments in the near future.

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Fully explain your ideas

More and more people today are spending large amounts of money on their appearance in order to look younger. Why do people want to look younger? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

It has been suggested that cars and public transport should be banned from city centres and only bicycles be allowed instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some countries, people these days spend little time with their children. What are the causes of this? Whome does this affect more, parents or children?

Some people think that volunteering should be a mandatory part of high school education. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.