Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Some
people
think that
parents
should teach
children
how to be good members of
society
. Meanwhile, others
believes
Change the verb form
believe
show examples
that school is the place to learn
this
. Upbringing -
essential
Add an article
an essential
show examples
part of our life.   Majority of
people
thinks
Change the verb form
think
show examples
that
parents
should teach
children
how to be a good member of
society
.
Parents
gave
Wrong verb form
give
show examples
birth to their
children
and have responsibilities on them until their adulthood.  Upbringing is
some
Correct determiner usage
a
show examples
skills
Fix the agreement mistake
skill
show examples
that
transmits
Wrong verb form
is transmitted
show examples
from parent to
children
Fix the agreement mistake
child
show examples
. That’s why
parents
should teach kids not others.  
Parents
spoil their
children
by giving and doing everything they want. And
children
grow up selfish.Lack of education can’t not
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
affect
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
personality. If a person not have been taught by basic rules of etiquette and behavior, it would
harder
Add a missing verb
be harder
show examples
to join
society
.
Society
would avoid selfish and spoiled
people
,
therefore
they
Add a missing verb
are closes
show examples
closes
Change the verb form
close
show examples
in
Change preposition
to
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themselves.  What am I for?
Parents
should give upbringing
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
but with discipline. On the other hand, some
people
claim that
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
should give up
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structure
Ensure that you have a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion to structure your essay. Your essay lacks a clear conclusion, thereby affecting its logical structure.
task response
Make sure to address the prompt completely. Your essay does not fully discuss both views or give a well-developed personal opinion.
coherence and cohesion
In order to score higher for coherence and cohesion, use a range of linking words and phrases to show the relationship between ideas, and develop your paragraphs fully.
task completion
Your essay abruptly ends and seems unfinished. Make sure to complete your thought and provide a balanced discussion before concluding.
task response
Use specific examples and explanations to support your points. Your essay has very few specific examples which make your main points less convincing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • good members of society
  • teach
  • parents
  • schools
  • responsibility
  • values
  • respect
  • empathy
  • responsibility
  • formal education
  • citizenship
  • ethics
  • social responsibility
  • lead by example
  • role models
  • conducive environment
  • extracurricular activities
  • community involvement
  • collaborate
  • holistic approach
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