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Band 4

Nowadays, individuals are taking their families abroad with them on every business trip.　What are the advantages and disadvantages for individuals and their families? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

#individuals #families #business #trip
Our current
lifestyle
 is becoming more
work dominated
Add a hyphen
work-dominated
show examples
 than
family oriented
Add a hyphen
family-oriented
show examples
. Because the
scarecity
Correct your spelling
scarcity
 of finding
better
Add an article
a better
show examples
 job is
cruisal
Correct your spelling
crucial
critical
.
When taking
Rephrase
Taking
show examples
 families abroad with them on every business trip can
cause
Verb problem
have
show examples
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
 and bad influence
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the
familes
Correct your spelling
families
family
. When looking at the
advantage
Fix the agreement mistake
advantages
show examples
 I have some in
my
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
mind which are, family members
also
 getting
same
Add an article
the same
show examples
 experience as the individual who took them.
Such
 as they get to know different cultures around the world and
diffrenet
Correct your spelling
different
 experiences in
short
Add an article
a short
show examples
 period of time.
For instance
, when going
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 European countries we can experience rich
western
Capitalize word
Western
show examples
cutlture
Correct your spelling
culture
 which is
quiet
Correct your spelling
quite
show examples
differe
Correct your spelling
different
 from asian culture like languages, foods, way of dress and
hight standard
Correct your spelling
high-standard
show examples
lifestyle
.
Therefore
, it can be
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
experince
Correct your spelling
experience
 for all family members.
Also
, families
no
Correct your spelling
do
show examples
 need to
apart
Add a missing verb
be apart
show examples
 from each other few weeks or months because
work
Change preposition
of work
show examples
. They can
Wrong verb form
spend
show examples
spent
Wrong verb form
spend
show examples
 their quality time whenever or wherever they want.
On the other hand
, I would say there are lots of
long term
Add a hyphen
long-term
show examples
 disadvantages could cause to
family
Correct article usage
the family
show examples
.
Such
 as if they have children
then
 they couldn't have a stable
lifestyle
.
Such
 as if children are studying
then
 their education
unstable
Add a missing verb
is unstable
show examples
due to
 the frequent travelling,
also
 they
couldn't
Verb problem
aren't
show examples
 able to
spent
Change the form of the verb
spend
show examples
 time with
thier
Correct your spelling
their
similar age group or friends.
Hence
 best to give them a stable
lifestyle
. In the
meantime
Add a comma
meantime,
show examples
 if the particular family have elderly people it's
definetly
Correct your spelling
definitely
 not good for their health.
Therefore
,
to conclude
 there are
lot
Correct article usage
a lot
show examples
disadvantages
Change preposition
of disadvantages
show examples
 than
advantage
Fix the agreement mistake
advantages
show examples
by
Change preposition
to
show examples
 taking
abroad
Rephrase
apply
show examples
family members.
Instead
 of taking them for each business trip only prefer
nessesary
Correct your spelling
necessary
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
.
Otherwise
 best to choose
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 stable environment for
then
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
 family
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
abroad.
Submitted by n_wara11 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that there is a clear introduction, body, and conclusion structure. The introduction should present the topic and main argument, while the conclusion should summarize the points made and restate the main argument.
task achievement
Develop main points with clear, relevant examples. Instead of vague statements, reference specific, concrete examples and elaborate on these points further.
grammar
Check the essay for spelling, grammar, and punctuation errors. Frequent errors can disrupt the reader's understanding and detract from the overall quality of the essay.
lexical resource
Expand your vocabulary by using a range of words and phrases to express ideas. Refrain from repeating the same vocabulary, and ensure the words chosen are precise and appropriate for the context.
grammar
Ensure consistent verb tenses throughout the essay and use a variety of sentence structures to demonstrate grammatical range and accuracy.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Work-life balance
  • Cultural exposure
  • Logistical challenges
  • Educational opportunities
  • Financial cost
  • Adaptability
  • Family unity
  • Cultural shock
  • Broadened horizons
  • Disruption
  • Distraction
  • Support network
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