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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The table below shows the monthly expenditure of an average Australian family in 1991 and 2001. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table below shows the monthly expenditure of an average Australian family in 1991 and 2001. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The table below shows the monthly
expenditure
Use synonyms
 of an average
Australian
Use synonyms
 family in 1991 and 2001. In 1991,
Australian
Use synonyms
 family
expenditure
Use synonyms
 on other goods and services
highest
Add a missing verb
was highest
show examples
 on the top, the second is food
about
Change preposition
at about
show examples
 155$, the third is housing at 95$
while
Linking Words
 electricity and water at 75$ and transport at 70$.
Linking Words
Last
Change the article
The last
show examples
 one is clothing about 30$ the smallest in the chart, which is they spend a little. In 2001, these things had
change
Change the verb form
changed
show examples
 dramatically. Spending on electricity and water
was increase
Change the verb form
was increasing
was increased
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
from 75$ to 120$. Next was other goods and services went up from 250$ to 270$.
Then
Linking Words
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
housing and food had increased
5$
Change preposition
by 5$
show examples
 for each one.
However
Linking Words
, spending on clothing and transport was reduced from 30$ to 20$ and 70$ to 45$. Especially
expenditure
Use synonyms
 on clothing and transport had
change
Change the verb form
changed
show examples
 considerably in Australia.
Linking Words
Finally
Add a comma
Finally,
show examples
Australian
Use synonyms
expenditure
Use synonyms
 on other goods and services the most and the least is clothing.
Total
Correct article usage
The total
show examples
Australian
Use synonyms
dollar
Fix the agreement mistake
dollars
show examples
 per month in 1991
was went
Change the verb form
went
show examples
 up in 2001 from 675$ to 715$.

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words expenditure, australian with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "change" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "went up" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • expenditure
  • average family
  • significant changes
  • substantial increases
  • categories of expenditure
  • inflation
  • lifestyle changes
  • economic factors
  • cost of living
  • monthly expenditure
  • overall trend
  • comparisons
  • ten-year period
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