IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Some people think that distance learning programs can never be as good as traditional, face-to-face education. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #distance #programs #education
Nowadays, studying through online platforms
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 becoming more popular and widespread
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
 traditional
education
. Some say that online
class
 is more beneficial whilst some prefer face-to-face sessions. In my aspect,
traiditional
Correct your spelling
traditional
 classes
produced
Wrong verb form
produce
show examples
 students who have more life
skills
 and
education
. There are reasons to support the claim.
To begin
 with, studying through online platforms helps youngsters to save
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
time
 and money
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
.
Moreover
, the extra
time
that is
 not wasted by
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 would allow
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
young individuals to do self-study or relax.
This
 might make some
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 have a better outcome in terms of
the
Change the word
their
show examples
grade
Fix the agreement mistake
grades
show examples
.
On the other hand
,
although
 teenagers who traditionally go to school might waste their
time
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
, they will learn how to manage
the
Change the word
their
show examples
time
 which will be helpful for them in the future.
In addition
, they will be capable of
socialize
Wrong verb form
socialising
show examples
 at school,
in contrast
 to having online
class
Fix the agreement mistake
classes
show examples
.
This
 will allow students to have more connections and communication
skills
 which will be beneficial for them in their career.
Furthermore
, the potential of studying
on site
Add a hyphen
on-site
show examples
 tend to be better as adolescents cannot cheat
the
Change preposition
on the
show examples
 tests and assignments which they might do if they are having
online
Add an article
an online
show examples
class
. In summary, both ways of
education
 have advantages, but on-site
class
Fix the agreement mistake
classes
show examples
 tend to be more effective in terms of
education
.
Moreover
, students will not merely study, but they will learn life
skills
such
 as
time
 management and communication
skills
.
Therefore
, in terms of
overall
, traditional on-site classes
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 still the best way of
education
.
Submitted by dondollaraus on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
The essay addresses the topic, but in an uneven and somewhat generalized manner. The argument needs to prioritize clear, direct points over broad statements.
coherence and cohesion
Work on providing more natural and varied transitions between ideas to improve the flow of your writing. Avoid repetitions and strive for logical sequencing of thoughts.
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary to express ideas more accurately and precisely, avoiding colloquial expressions that may detract from the academic tone of the essay.
grammatical range and accuracy
Pay attention to sentence structures, ensuring a mix of simple and complex forms. Try to avoid basic grammatical errors by proofreading your work.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!