Some young people like to copy the behavior and clothes of famous people today. Why might this be the case? What problem can it cause?
Nowadays, certain young individuals tend to imitate
celebrities
’ behavior
and Change the spelling
behaviour
fashion
because they view those famous people
as their role models. This
issue is still debatable as people
hold different opinions on what are the causes and effects of this
behavior
. In my aspect, Change the spelling
behaviour
this
imitation
found in youngsters
is the result of the prevalence of social media
which leads to an excessive desire for a luxurious and ostentatious lifestyle, and this
behavior
causes Change the spelling
behaviour
youngsters
to lose their individuality
for wanting to be someone else.
With the
regard to the cause, celebrity Correct article usage
apply
imitation
behavior
found among Change the spelling
behaviour
people
is attributed to social media
consumption. Social media
is full of fabricated content showing off lifestyle and fashion
as people
tend to try to look perfect online in order to gain likes and comments. Especially, the celebrities
who need to maintain high social media
engagement for their monetary return in careers. The case is that when the followers, especially the young ones, consume these perfect posts from celebrities
they easily feel jealous and intimidated as youngsters
are still mentally vulnerable and not confident. As a result
, young people
start to copy the lifestyle and fashion
of these famous people
.
The subsequent problems found in young people
are the loss of individuality
and never- ending
demands. Correct your spelling
never-ending
Imitation
of celebrity behavior
can prevent Change the spelling
behaviour
youngsters
from finding their true lifestyles such
as hobbies or fashion
. They sacrifice their vulnerable adolescents
time to copy Change noun form
adolescents'
adolescent's
celebrities
instead
of finding themselves which will significantly damage their sense of individuality
. Also
, the imitation
of affluent celebrities
will cause incessant demands as those vulnerable young adolescents will believe that purchasing the same material items that those celebrities
possess will bring them closer to become
Wrong verb form
becoming
those
famous icons.
To summarize, the prevalence of social Correct determiner usage
apply
media
which shows the ideal life of celebrities
urges young individuals to imitate the behavior
and styles of famous Change the spelling
behaviour
people
. As a result
, those youngsters
’ self-confidence is susceptible; therefore
, this
imitation
behavior
can easily damage their Change the spelling
behaviour
individuality
and stimulate unnecessary demands.Submitted by dondollaraus on
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Introduction & Conclusion
Ensure your introduction provides a clear context and indicates the direction your essay will take. Your introduction sets the topic well, but it could have more explicitly outlined both the causes and the potential problems associated with the behavior.
Coherence & Cohesion
Use a mixture of discourse markers to guide the reader through your argument seamlessly. While your text has logical structure, aim for a variety of connecting words and phrases rather than relying on the same transitions.
Support & Development
Remember that each paragraph should explore a single main idea. Ensure you develop your main points with appropriate support, such as concrete examples or explanations, which were somewhat lacking in your essay.
Task Response
While you covered the task reasonably well, providing more specific examples and deeper exploration into the implications would enhance task achievement. Aim for detailed analysis and deeper insights into the issue under discussion.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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