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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Bar graph shows 7 genres in the US

Bar graph shows 7 genres in the US
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The horizontal bar illustrates
of
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apply
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the profits from several
the
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of the
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 most popular cinema genres
such
Linking Words
 as black
comedy
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, documentary, musical, romantic
comedy
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, horror, thriller,
comedy
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, drama, action, and adventure in the United States and Canada region during
period
Correct article usage
the period
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 between 1995 until 2022. The
values
Fix the agreement mistake
value
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 of revenue was in
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billion
Fix the agreement mistake
billions
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U.S.
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of U.S.
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dollars
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. In general, the statistical data provided the highest revenue was adventure.
However
Linking Words
, the lowest profits of the cinema was black
comedy
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. Regarding
from
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the data of revenues, we can see some categories get more than 30
billion
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 U.S.
dollars
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profits
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in profits
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such
Linking Words
 as
comedy
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, drama, action, and adventure, where the rates of price were 33.63
billion
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 U.S.
dollars
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, 50.56
billion
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 U.S.
dollars
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 , and 64.95
billion
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 U.S.
dollars
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, respectively.
In addition
Linking Words
, It
were
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was
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 the third
genres
Fix the agreement mistake
genre
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had
Correct pronoun usage
that had
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 the
larger
Correct word choice
largest
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 profit in
United
Correct article usage
the United
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 States. In terms of the profit lower than 30
billion
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 U.S.
dollars
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, the statistical
of
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apply
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genre shows black
comedy
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, documentary, musical,
romatic
Correct your spelling
romantic
comedy
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, horror, and suspense, where the prices profit were 2.2, 2.52, 4.34, 10.72, 13.65, and 19.9 in
billion
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 U.S.
dollars
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, respectively. Meanwhile, the data was clear information about the lowest revenue was black
comedy
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.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "such".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words comedy, billion, dollars with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 3 times.
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