IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Bar graph shows 7 genres in the US

Bar graph shows 7 genres in the US
#bar #genres
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The horizontal bar illustrates
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the profits from several
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
 most popular cinema genres
such
 as black
comedy
, documentary, musical, romantic
comedy
, horror, thriller,
comedy
, drama, action, and adventure in the United States and Canada region during
period
Correct article usage
the period
show examples
 between 1995 until 2022. The
values
Fix the agreement mistake
value
show examples
 of revenue was in
billion
Fix the agreement mistake
billions
show examples
U.S.
Change preposition
of U.S.
show examples
dollars
. In general, the statistical data provided the highest revenue was adventure.
However
, the lowest profits of the cinema was black
comedy
. Regarding
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the data of revenues, we can see some categories get more than 30
billion
 U.S.
dollars
profits
Change preposition
in profits
show examples
such
 as
comedy
, drama, action, and adventure, where the rates of price were 33.63
billion
 U.S.
dollars
, 50.56
billion
 U.S.
dollars
 , and 64.95
billion
 U.S.
dollars
, respectively.
In addition
, It
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 the third
genres
Fix the agreement mistake
genre
show examples
had
Correct pronoun usage
that had
show examples
 the
larger
Correct word choice
largest
show examples
 profit in
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
 States. In terms of the profit lower than 30
billion
 U.S.
dollars
, the statistical
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
genre shows black
comedy
, documentary, musical,
romatic
Correct your spelling
romantic
comedy
, horror, and suspense, where the prices profit were 2.2, 2.52, 4.34, 10.72, 13.65, and 19.9 in
billion
 U.S.
dollars
, respectively. Meanwhile, the data was clear information about the lowest revenue was black
comedy
.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "such".
▼
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words comedy, billion, dollars with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 3 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: