IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In the future all cars,buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people traveling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?

#future #cars #buses #trucks #driverless #people #vehicles #passengers
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It is argued that in the future all
vehicles
Use synonyms
 will be
driverless
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.
Thiss
Correct your spelling
This
 essay will argue that
although
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 employment related
with
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to
show examples
 transportation will
decrease
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, using autonomous
vehicles
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 will
enhace
Correct your spelling
enhance
 safety
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 a great extent,
this
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 means that the advantages outweigh the drawbacks. The main disadvantage of
this
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 development is that
unemployment
Correct article usage
the unemployment
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 rate will increase. Nowadays, many
people
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 work as bus, train or truck
driver
Fix the agreement mistake
drivers
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. If
driverless
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cars
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 are created, more
people
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 will be able to meet the job requirements,
then
Linking Words
, more individuals will apply for these jobs, and
as a consequence
Linking Words
, competition between
people
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 will increase, and the salary will
decrease
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 because the work will be easy to carry out. Recent research concluded that approximately 50%
less
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fewer
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 drivers in public transport will be needed if autonomous
cars
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 are created.
However
Linking Words
, I believe that in the future new jobs will be created to balance the market. The great advantage is that
driverless
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cars
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 will
enhace
Correct your spelling
enhance
 safety
while
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 driving.
This
Linking Words
 is because
car
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accidents
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 normally happen
as a result
Linking Words
 of errors made by humans
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 since they can get distracted very easily and may not pay attention to what
happen
Correct subject-verb agreement
happens
show examples
 on the streets and the roads. Autonomous
cars
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 will have sensors and radars with complex algorithms, which can detect danger and avoid them, preventing
car
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accidents
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.
For example
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, Mercedes
Benz's
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Benz
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cars
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 are able to detect other
vehicles
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 and obstacles that are near the
car
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, and it will tell the driver to get away, preventing crashes. In my opinion,
this
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 point of view is preferable since it reduces the probability of
people
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 dying because of
car
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accidents
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. In conclusion,
although
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 the number of
people
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 working as a driver may
decrease
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,
accidents
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in
Change preposition
on
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 roads will
also
Linking Words
decrease
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, for these reasons, the
benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
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 of
driverless
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vehicles
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 outnumber the drawbacks.
Submitted by elenazheng1211 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that the introduction clearly presents the topic and your position, and that the conclusion effectively summarizes the points made and restates your opinion.
coherence cohesion
Develop body paragraphs with clear topic sentences and appropriate supporting details. Use linking words effectively to connect ideas within and between paragraphs.
task achievement
Address the task by presenting relevant main points, providing detailed explanations and carefully selected examples to support your arguments.
task achievement
Avoid repetition of ideas and strive for a clear progression in the development of your argument throughout the essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • driverless vehicles
  • advantages
  • disadvantages
  • increased safety
  • reduced traffic congestion
  • improved efficiency
  • accessibility
  • disabled
  • elderly
  • job displacement
  • privacy concerns
What to do next:
Look at other essays: