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Band 5

In the future all cars,buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people traveling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?

#future #cars #buses #trucks #driverless #people #vehicles #passengers
It is argued that in the future all
vehicles
 will be
driverless
.
Thiss
Correct your spelling
This
 essay will argue that
although
 employment related
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 transportation will
decrease
, using autonomous
vehicles
 will
enhace
Correct your spelling
enhance
 safety
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 a great extent,
this
 means that the advantages outweigh the drawbacks. The main disadvantage of
this
 development is that
unemployment
Correct article usage
the unemployment
show examples
 rate will increase. Nowadays, many
people
 work as bus, train or truck
driver
Fix the agreement mistake
drivers
show examples
. If
driverless
cars
 are created, more
people
 will be able to meet the job requirements,
then
, more individuals will apply for these jobs, and
as a consequence
, competition between
people
 will increase, and the salary will
decrease
 because the work will be easy to carry out. Recent research concluded that approximately 50%
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
 drivers in public transport will be needed if autonomous
cars
 are created.
However
, I believe that in the future new jobs will be created to balance the market. The great advantage is that
driverless
cars
 will
enhace
Correct your spelling
enhance
 safety
while
 driving.
This
 is because
car
accidents
 normally happen
as a result
 of errors made by humans
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 since they can get distracted very easily and may not pay attention to what
happen
Correct subject-verb agreement
happens
show examples
 on the streets and the roads. Autonomous
cars
 will have sensors and radars with complex algorithms, which can detect danger and avoid them, preventing
car
accidents
.
For example
, Mercedes
Benz's
Change noun form
Benz
show examples
cars
 are able to detect other
vehicles
 and obstacles that are near the
car
, and it will tell the driver to get away, preventing crashes. In my opinion,
this
 point of view is preferable since it reduces the probability of
people
 dying because of
car
accidents
. In conclusion,
although
 the number of
people
 working as a driver may
decrease
,
accidents
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 roads will
also
decrease
, for these reasons, the
benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
show examples
 of
driverless
vehicles
 outnumber the drawbacks.
Submitted by elenazheng1211 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that the introduction clearly presents the topic and your position, and that the conclusion effectively summarizes the points made and restates your opinion.
coherence cohesion
Develop body paragraphs with clear topic sentences and appropriate supporting details. Use linking words effectively to connect ideas within and between paragraphs.
task achievement
Address the task by presenting relevant main points, providing detailed explanations and carefully selected examples to support your arguments.
task achievement
Avoid repetition of ideas and strive for a clear progression in the development of your argument throughout the essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • driverless vehicles
  • advantages
  • disadvantages
  • increased safety
  • reduced traffic congestion
  • improved efficiency
  • accessibility
  • disabled
  • elderly
  • job displacement
  • privacy concerns
What to do next:
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