IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#university #students #subjects #addition #time #attention #qualification
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People have a myriad of views about whether
university
students
 should only concentrate on a single subject or extend the coverage of
study
.
Although
 there are good arguments in favour of investing all efforts in gaining a qualification, I personally believe that
university
students
 should enrich their
knowledge
 by learning more subjects. Among all the benefits of focusing on a subject for a qualification, the foremost benefit is that
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
dedication to a single discipline can prepare
university
students
 for better career prospects.
Although
 a
university
 degree is not tantamount to securing a job with a stable income, focusing on a single field of
study
 is usually required by a multitude of professional occupations,
such
 as doctors, lawyers, and accountants. Concentration on a particular profession is the first step for
university
students
 to equip themselves with sufficient professional
knowledge
. It is universally acknowledged that being professionals in these fields is more likely to yield a higher potential income in the future in
this
knowledge
-based society, allowing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
university
 graduates to become more financially independent.
However
, I still believe that
university
students
 should expand their
knowledge
 base on top of their major
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
show examples
. Under no circumstances should we overlook the fact that an all-rounded education has been widely advocated recently, becoming a prevalent educational philosophy across countries.
University
 education not only serves the role of training professionals
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but
also
 exploring
potentials
Fix the agreement mistake
potential
show examples
 among
students
.
While
 the fields of
study
 are usually limited in high schools,
students
 can grasp the golden opportunities to have a taste of different disciplines in
university
. It is not uncommon that
university
students
 do not enjoy
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
university
study
 at all as they may have enrolled in
the a
Choose an article
the
a
show examples
 major
that is
 not their genuine interest. In
this
 way, learning about other subjects
in addition
 to their main subjects in
university
 can allow
students
 to realize their true
potentials
Fix the agreement mistake
potential
show examples
 and passions. Judging from these arguments, it is patently obvious that
university
students
 are suggested to broaden their
knowledge
instead
 of deepening
the
Change the word
their
show examples
study
 studies in a single field.
Submitted by jothyliu on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph presents one clear main idea, and use a range of cohesive devices effectively to maintain a clear and logical progression throughout the essay.
task achievement
Fully address all parts of the task prompt, presenting a fully developed position with relevant examples and supporting evidence, while staying on topic throughout the essay.
lexical resource
Use a variety of vocabulary with precision, including less common lexical items and some idiomatic language while avoiding errors that impede communication.
grammatical range accuracy
Utilize a range of complex structures with flexible use, showing variety in sentence types and control over complex grammatical structures with few errors.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Broaden
  • Perspectives
  • Specialize
  • Critical thinking
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Career success
  • Interdisciplinary connections
  • Structured path
  • Clear goals
  • Creativity
  • Innovation
  • Academic credibility
  • Recognition
  • Balance
  • Exploring
What to do next:
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