Some people think that the government should decide which subject should study at the university, while others think that students should be allowed to apply for the subject they prefer. Discuss the two views and give your opinion.

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The majority of society opines that the government ought to decide what subjects
students
Use synonyms
should take at the University,
while
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others reckon that learners should be admitted to enrol for subjects that they aim for.
However
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,
this
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essay will
describes
Change the verb form
describe
show examples
both stances with lucid examples. On the one side,
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
plays a pivotal role in leading
students
Use synonyms
to choose their courses since there are several prophesied advantages. First and foremost, choosing
students
Use synonyms
' majors can help the country
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
reduce the unemployment crisis and unbalanced worker demand.
For instance
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, many
students
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opt to account as their study destination;
otherwise
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, a couple of years ahead, accountants are rare in the job market
due to
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the invention of cutting-edge accounting machines.
Hence
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, it will
arise
Correct your spelling
raise
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the joblessness rate.
Not to mention
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that some essential sectors are short of expertise
such
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as agriculture and renewable energy.
On the other hand
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, choosing a subject by itself yields many positive impacts for
students
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
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, they are the one and only people who know what courses are suitable for them.
As a result
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, they can
responsible
Add a missing verb
be responsible
show examples
for their choices. Irrespective of that, learners feel more satisfied if they
had
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
to select their own desire.
Consequently
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, they will be more motivated
in studying
Change preposition
to study
show examples
.
Conversely
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, going to college with subjects that they do not like leads to an inefficient learning process.
To sum up
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, pupils should be allowed to choose areas of their profession as
this
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will
gives
Change the verb form
give
show examples
them a sense of motivation and satisfaction in university life.
However
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, the number of seats should be limited in the courses which
has
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have
show examples
less demand as compared to demand ones.
Submitted by buttargurpinder73 on

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task achievement
Although the essay discusses both views and provides a conclusion, the ideas presented are not fully developed or expanded with clear supporting examples. Endeavor to fully expand your main points with focused and pertinent examples to clarify your arguments.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a recognizable structure, but there are lapses in logical sequencing, which can result in the reader being occasionally confused. Remember to use cohesive devices effectively to aid the smooth flow of ideas.
grammatical range
Work on varying your sentence structures to avoid repetitive or simplistic patterns. Greater complexity in sentences enhances coherence and demonstrates a higher level of language proficiency.
lexical resource
You have attempted to use a range of vocabulary, but the precision and appropriateness of word choice are occasionally lacking. Aim for a variety of expressions and terms that accurately convey your meaning and are relevant to the topic.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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