You should spend about 40 minutes n this task. Write about the following topic. Some organisations believe that their employees should dress smartly. Others value quality of work above appearance. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.

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There is no denying the fact that what
people
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should wear in their
work
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.
While
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it is a commonly held belief that some
administirations
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administrators
tend to encourage their
employees
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to wear formal dress, there is
also
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an argument that the quality of
work
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is more important than dress.
This
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essay will discuss
this
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topic from both points of view and express my opinion. On
one
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the one
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hand, some organisations believe that it is
formal
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a formal
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places
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place
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and
employees
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should wear formal
clothes
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.
In other words
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,
this
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lead
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leads
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the
employees
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to respect the
work
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and
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
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them more
discipline
Replace the word
disciplined
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.
In addition
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, there is an endless amount of visitors and
pubilc
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public
people
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, and wearing formal
clothes
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reflect
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reflects
show examples
the quality of the
work
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.
For example
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, many companies
imposses
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impose
imposes
their
employees
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to wear
uniformal
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uniform
uniforms
cloth which
is
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are
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designed by the
company
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.
On the other hand
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, some managers agree
with
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apply
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that the quality of the
work
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is a crucial thing for the
company
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. It is
also
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possible to say that managers' priority
to
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is to
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focus
for
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on
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training their
worker
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workers
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,
developing
Correct word choice
and developing
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their
company
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instead
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of
employees
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'
clothes
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.
Moreover
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,
this
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trend will make their
employees
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fell
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feel
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incredibly comfortable.
For instance
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, they will feel happy when they wear what they want particularly
people
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who are
interesting
Replace the word
interested
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in fashion. In conclusion, there are no easy answers to
this
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question. On balance,
however
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, I tend to believe that organisations should care about their
employees
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'
clothes
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to increase the discipline in the
company
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. In
the
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apply
show examples
fact,
people
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who are working hard usually care about their dress in comparison to bad
employees
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.
Submitted by fatemah221027 on

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coherence cohesion
The essay presents a recognizable structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. However, the logical flow between ideas is somewhat lacking, leading to a less cohesive and coherent response. To improve, work on connecting ideas and paragraphs more clearly using cohesive devices and clear topic sentences.
task achievement
The essay addresses the task and presents arguments for both viewpoints, but the ideas could be more fully extended and developed. The response needs to offer a clearer, more precise explanation of arguments, with more elaboration on why this is important and how it supports the overall position.
lexical resource
The range of vocabulary is somewhat limited, and there are some inaccuracies and inappropriate word choices. To enhance your lexical resource, focus on expanding your vocabulary and be cautious with word selection, ensuring that each word accurately conveys the intended meaning.
grammatical range accuracy
There are several grammatical errors present, which occasionally hinder communication. To improve your grammatical range and accuracy, review basic sentence structure and the appropriate use of tenses. Practice constructing complex sentences accurately, and proofread your writing to correct errors.
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