Some people believe school children should be given multiple vacations while others think they should get one long vacation. Discuss advantages for both and give your opinion.
Vacations
is
Change the verb form
are
most
crucial part Correct article usage
the most
of
children to Change preposition
for
boots
their energy and continue to focus on Correct your spelling
boost
academic
area. People Add an article
the academic
having
Wrong verb form
have
a
different Correct article usage
apply
opinion
regarding the holiday, many individuals Fix the agreement mistake
opinions
believed
that multiple Wrong verb form
believe
Use synonyms
vacation
would be helpful as contrasted Change to a plural noun
vacations
other
argue that Fix the agreement mistake
others
single
long break is more helpful. If asked, there are Correct article usage
a single
number
of pros and I will discuss my opinion in ensuring paragraph.
On the one side, multiple short breaks can help Change the article
a number
the number
students
avoid burnout and maintain a consistent rhythm of rest and study. Use synonyms
In addition
, Linking Words
frequentl
breaks allow Correct your spelling
frequent
frequently
students
to recharge and return to school with improved focus and motivation. Use synonyms
Linking Words
Further more
, regular holidays enable families to plan short trips or activities without waiting for a long Correct your spelling
Furthermore
vacation
period. Use synonyms
Last
but not least, it can help Linking Words
students
who struggle with retention by providing opportunities to review content more often. Use synonyms
In
example, when children come back after Change preposition
For
the
short leave they feel more energetic and Correct article usage
a
relax
.
On the other side, one long Wrong verb form
relaxed
vacation
gives Use synonyms
students
an extended period of rest and Use synonyms
leading
to complete rest from academic stress. Wrong verb form
leads
In addition
, Linking Words
long
period Correct article usage
a long
to provide
the opportunity Change the verb form
provides
to
foreign Change preposition
for
trip
and expand Fix the agreement mistake
trips
the
knowledge Correct article usage
apply
to
different cultures. Change preposition
of
Bedsides
, it can big opportunity to do something like Correct your spelling
Besides
part time
job, Add a hyphen
part-time
internships
or some projects for extended knowledge in Fix the agreement mistake
internship
same
or various fields. Correct article usage
the same
In
Change preposition
For
instances
, many Fix the agreement mistake
instance
of
Change preposition
apply
students
has been doing Use synonyms
advance
learning classes Replace the word
advanced
Linking Words
likewise
language class, Drawing class, etc
In conclusion, Rephrase
such as
Linking Words
while
short Correct word choice
apply
Use synonyms
vacation
provide frequent Fix the agreement mistake
vacations
break
and Fix the agreement mistake
breaks
grab
the opportunity to Verb problem
apply
learning
new skills Change the verb
learn
as well as
Linking Words
families
time. Change the noun form
family
However
, long vacations Linking Words
also
have their own benefits for other substantial activities and tours. But, every person Linking Words
having
their own preference about Change the form of the verb
has
this
Idea.Linking Words
Submitted by sanganiankita2023 on
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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and develop it with specific details and examples. When presenting the advantages of both sides of the argument, it is important to maintain balance and to provide relevant details that directly support the claims made.
Task Achievement
Your essay seems to partially respond to the prompt, but the ideas could be expanded further for full effectiveness. Make sure to address all parts of the question and provide a more explicit opinion in the conclusion. While you have discussed the merits of both short and long vacations, and have ended with a general statement about personal preferences, a clearer personal stance would make your argument more forceful.
Lexical Resource
Expand your vocabulary range by using varied language and synonyms. Avoid repetition of words and phrases. You should also strive to incorporate more complex sentence structures to convey your points more effectively.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Work on using a variety of sentence structures and ensure correct grammar usage throughout your essay. Pay special attention to subject-verb agreement, proper tense usage, and the correct use of articles.