Some people believe school children should be given multiple vacations while others think they should get one long vacation. Discuss advantages for both and give your opinion.

Vacations
is
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are
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most
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the most
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crucial part
of
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for
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children to
boots
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boost
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their energy and continue to focus on
academic
Add an article
the academic
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area. People
having
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have
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a
Correct article usage
apply
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different
opinion
Fix the agreement mistake
opinions
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regarding the holiday, many individuals
believed
Wrong verb form
believe
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that multiple
vacation
Change to a plural noun
vacations
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would be helpful as contrasted
other
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others
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argue that
single
Correct article usage
a single
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long break is more helpful. If asked, there are
number
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a number
the number
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of pros and I will discuss my opinion in ensuring paragraph. On the one side, multiple short breaks can help
students
avoid burnout and maintain a consistent rhythm of rest and study.
In addition
,
frequentl
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frequent
frequently
breaks allow
students
to recharge and return to school with improved focus and motivation.
Further more
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Furthermore
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, regular holidays enable families to plan short trips or activities without waiting for a long
vacation
period.
Last
but not least, it can help
students
who struggle with retention by providing opportunities to review content more often.
In
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For
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example, when children come back after
the
Correct article usage
a
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short leave they feel more energetic and
relax
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relaxed
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. On the other side, one long
vacation
gives
students
an extended period of rest and
leading
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leads
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to complete rest from academic stress.
In addition
,
long
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a long
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period
to provide
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provides
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the opportunity
to
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for
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foreign
trip
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trips
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and expand
the
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apply
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knowledge
to
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of
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different cultures.
Bedsides
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Besides
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, it can big opportunity to do something like
part time
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part-time
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job,
internships
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internship
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or some projects for extended knowledge in
same
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the same
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or various fields.
In
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For
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instances
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instance
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, many
of
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apply
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students
has been doing
advance
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advanced
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learning classes
likewise
Rephrase
such as
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language class, Drawing class, etc In conclusion,
while
Correct word choice
apply
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short
vacation
Fix the agreement mistake
vacations
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provide frequent
break
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breaks
show examples
and
grab
Verb problem
apply
show examples
the opportunity to
learning
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learn
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new skills
as well as
families
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family
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time.
However
, long vacations
also
have their own benefits for other substantial activities and tours. But, every person
having
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has
show examples
their own preference about
this
Idea.
Submitted by sanganiankita2023 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and develop it with specific details and examples. When presenting the advantages of both sides of the argument, it is important to maintain balance and to provide relevant details that directly support the claims made.
Task Achievement
Your essay seems to partially respond to the prompt, but the ideas could be expanded further for full effectiveness. Make sure to address all parts of the question and provide a more explicit opinion in the conclusion. While you have discussed the merits of both short and long vacations, and have ended with a general statement about personal preferences, a clearer personal stance would make your argument more forceful.
Lexical Resource
Expand your vocabulary range by using varied language and synonyms. Avoid repetition of words and phrases. You should also strive to incorporate more complex sentence structures to convey your points more effectively.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Work on using a variety of sentence structures and ensure correct grammar usage throughout your essay. Pay special attention to subject-verb agreement, proper tense usage, and the correct use of articles.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • avoid burnout
  • consistent rhythm
  • recharge
  • improved focus
  • motivation
  • academic stress
  • retention
  • deep learning
  • internships
  • part-time jobs
  • disruption
  • fragmented learning
  • balanced approach
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