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Band 2.5

Gap between rich and poor countries. It's the responsibility of richer countries to support poorer countries while others think it's the responsibility of poorer countries. what is your opinion?

#gap #countries #responsibility #support
I am doing a project on dreams. I have found a pie chart with the results of some opinion polls that show what people in Zetland dream about . I am going to comment on the data in the pie chart and express my opinion. As can be seen in the pie chart, teenagers mostly dream about job promotion and academic qualifications, 38% and 21% respectively. It is
also
 clear that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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one of the most common
purpose
Change to a plural noun
purposes
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 of
dream
Fix the agreement mistake
dreams
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 appears to
marriage
Add a missing verb
be marriage
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(14%) based on the diagram Academic qualification, which was named by 21% of respondents, is 11% more popular than financial wellbeing, which is popular with 10% of the surveyed. It demonstrates that more people tend to get qualifications without any financial pillow. in conclusion, I believe that dreams always come true. Despite all the difficulties in life, if a person has a goal, he will definitely succeed
everything
Change preposition
in everything
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Submitted by dulskywork on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay needs a clearer introduction to set the context of the discussion. It should include an overview of what the pie chart is about and what kind of dreams are being discussed, not just jumping straight into the specifics.
Coherence and Cohesion
The conclusion is vague and does not follow logically from the data presented. It should summarize the data and then relate to your opinion more closely.
Task Achievement
The response following the data from the pie chart is incomplete, as it does not provide a full comparison and discussion on all dream categories shown. Insights into why teenagers might prioritize job promotion and academic qualifications over other types of dreams can enhance task completion.
Task Achievement
Ideas need to be expanded upon more clearly and comprehensively. The connection between the data and your comments on life's difficulties and achieving goals is not made clear. You should add more detailed explanations to demonstrate a thorough understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Economic disparity
  • International cooperation
  • Financial assistance
  • Technology transfer
  • Capacity building
  • Dependency
  • Sovereignty
  • Moral obligation
  • Exploitation
  • Strategic interests
  • Good governance
  • Anti-corruption
  • Institutions
  • Foreign aid
  • Fair trade
  • Trade barriers
  • Sustainable development goals
  • Global stability
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