In a number of countries ,some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railways lines for very fast friends between cities .others believe the money should be spend on improving existing public transport.

#countries #people #sums #money #railways #lines #friends #cities #transport

this

contemporary era,

due to

the growth of urban areas, the number of extinct species is rapidly growing.

Thus

, it is necessary that relevant measures are taken to protect these

Fix the agreement mistake

animals

show examples

animal

Fix the agreement mistake

animals

show examples

. The following essay will discuss the advantages of

this

protection

as well as

Correct article usage

the governments

show examples

governments

Change noun form

government's

show examples

duty regarding

this

problem. In

this

contemporary era,

due to

the growth of urban areas, the number of extinct species is rapidly growing.

Thus

, it is necessary that relevant measures are taken to protect

these animal

Change the determiner

this animal

these animals

show examples

. The following essay will discuss the advantages of

this

protection

as well as

Correct article usage

the governments

show examples

governments

Change noun form

government's

show examples

duty regarding

this

problem.

Submitted by anayasinwriting on Fri Nov 17 2023

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task response

The essay does not address the given topic, which is a fundamental error in the IELTS Writing Task. Ensure that your essay strictly adheres to the topic provided and answers the question directly. In this case, you have written about protecting extinct animals instead of discussing the investment in railways or public transport improvements.

coherence cohesion

Your essay lacks a coherent structure and does not develop a logical argument. It is essential to have a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph should have a central idea that is expanded with supporting details and examples.

coherence cohesion

You have replicated the introduction which indicates a major issue with coherence. Avoid repeating entire sentences or paragraphs. Your essay needs to progress by introducing new ideas and arguments.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

2 paragraphs

100 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In a number of countries ,some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railways lines for very fast friends between cities .others believe the money should be spend on improving existing public transport.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the word. Do you think this is a positive or negative development

Some people think that developing a successful career is more important than spending time with family and friends, while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually empahsise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

While studying abroad provides an opportunity to broaden one's experience, it also presents the danger of negative influence from the host culture. How far do you agree or disagree with the statement?