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Writing Samples
Band 4

The charts below show the average percentages in typical meals of three types of nutrients, all of which may be unhealth if eaten too much.

The charts below show the average percentages in typical meals of three types of nutrients, all of which may be unhealth if eaten too much.
The pie charts demonstrate the proportions of three ingredients (
sodium
Use synonyms
, saturated fat, added
sugar
Use synonyms
) by meal in America. These nutrients are harmful to the body if they are over-consumed.
Additionally
Linking Words
, meals are categorized into four groups, which are breakfast, lunch,
dinner
Use synonyms
 and snacks.
Overall
Linking Words
,
dinner
Use synonyms
 has the highest percentages of
sodium
Use synonyms
 and saturated fat but it loses its first
place
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 to snacks when it comes to added
sugar
Use synonyms
. In detail,
dinner
Use synonyms
 has the highest intake of
sodium
Use synonyms
 and saturated fat with 43% and 37% and lunch takes
the
Correct article usage
apply
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second
place
Use synonyms
 with 29% and 26% respectively in both
ingredient
Fix the agreement mistake
ingredients
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. Snacks take
dinner
Use synonyms
’s first
place
Use synonyms
 with
highest
Correct article usage
the highest
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 percentages of added
sugar
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 with 42% and
dinner
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 takes
the
Correct article usage
apply
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second
place
Use synonyms
 with 23%.
Also
Linking Words
, breakfast is the
healtiest
Correct your spelling
healthiest
 meal among them. USA citizens'
sodium
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,
sugar
Use synonyms
 and saturated fats intake during
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
breakfast is comparatively lower, around 14-16% each time.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words sodium, sugar, dinner, place with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 2 times.
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