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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The graph below shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main feature and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main feature and make comparisons where relevant.
#proportion #population #three #countries #summarise #information #feature #comparisons
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The following graph
illutrates
Correct your spelling
illustrates
 the
propotion
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proportion
 of
Use synonyms
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
 aged 65 between the
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
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 1940 to 2040.
This
Linking Words
 is summarised between three different
countries
Use synonyms
 over six
decades
Use synonyms
. In
this
Linking Words
graph
Add a comma
graph,
show examples
 the percentage of
japan
Capitalize word
Japan
show examples
 has
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
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drastically increased over the six
decades
Use synonyms
 which stands first in the graph. The second
propotion
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proportion
proposition
 of
Use synonyms
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
 aged 65 years and over is in
sweden
Change the capitalization
Sweden
show examples
 and
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 initial stage USA had a boom in the
population
Use synonyms
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
ver the
decades
Use synonyms
 it
takes
Wrong verb form
took
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
third place
comapred
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compared
 to the other two
countries
Use synonyms
. In 1940 japan had
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 percentage of 5 and it has increased to 27 percent in 2040. Which has a
tremondous
Correct your spelling
tremendous
 growth over the course of years in the
population
Use synonyms
 of people aged 65 and more. Sweden had
7
Correct article usage
a 7
show examples
percentage
Replace the word
per cent
show examples
 of
Use synonyms
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
 in 1940 and
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
1940 it
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
reached 25
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of
growth
Add an article
the growth
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 in 2040.
Linking Words
Initially
Add a comma
Initially,
show examples
 the
popullation
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population
 of
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 arose in 1940 but it has a decline in 2040 to about 23
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
. It is clearly understood that over six
decades
Use synonyms
 all
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
three
countries
Use synonyms
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 faced
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 gradual increase and decrease in the
population
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 of people
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
over 65 years. But none of the
countries
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 faced the
drop down
Add a hyphen
drop-down
show examples
 of the
poupulation
Correct your spelling
population
 below 20 in 2040. So it is considered that all the three
countries
Use synonyms
 maintain a good
poupulation
Correct your spelling
population
 of old people.
Submitted by insighttribez on

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 73%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words population, countries, decades with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stands" was used 2 times.
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