IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

The table below shows information and predictions regarding the change in percentage of the population aged 65 and above in three countries.

The table below shows information and predictions regarding the change in percentage of the population aged 65 and above in three countries.
#information #predictions #change #percentage #population #three #countries
The following table provides data on the variation in the number of people aged above 65 in 1988
an
Correct your spelling
and
show examples
 2000 and future estimations for the year 2030 in
Canada
,
Germany
 and
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
. In an
overall
 context, an increment in
65
Correct article usage
the 65
show examples
 aged above population
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 noticed from 1988 to 2000 and it is predicted that the figures will surge in 2030 in all three countries.
Germany
 is
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the leading position among the other countries.
Examing
Correct your spelling
Examine
show examples
 the details, the percentages for
target
Add an article
the target
show examples
 group in
Canada
 were 16.32 in 1988 and reached 20.67 in 2000.
Furthermore
,
increasing
Wrong verb form
an increase
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the proportion for
Canada
 to 26.35 is forecasted in 2030.
However
,
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
amidst
Change preposition
among
show examples
 other governments
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 the lowest
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
percentages of old aged people in 1988 and 2000, representing 14.23 and 14.89 per cent respectively.
Additionally
, it is assumed that the figures for
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 will have soared to 20.35 per cent in 2030 . Shifting the focus to
Germany
,
Germany
 witnessed 20.45 and 25.32 per cent in 1988 and 2000, which were the highest results
in contrast
 to
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 and
Canada
.
Also
, there are predictions that
germany
Change the capitalization
Germany
show examples
 will hit a high of 30.42 in 2030.
Submitted by babayeva.ilayda on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words canada, germany, uk with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
▼

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • percentage change
  • population
  • aged 65 and above
  • information
  • table
  • data
  • trends
  • patterns
  • comparison
  • predicted
  • future
  • findings
  • comment
What to do next:
Look at other essays: