Some people believe that the best way to stay fit is to join aa gym or a health club, while others think doing everyday activities such as walking and climbing stairs is enough. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Keeping fit and doing some exercises to have an active lifestyle and better health condition are well-discussed matters in the modern world. Numerous

people

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have an idea that the best result to be in

shape

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is to join a

gym

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or health club.

However

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, others believe that doing everyday

activities

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can have good effects on the body, and there is no necessity to spend time in the gyms to work out. The idea provokes strong arguments, which both sides will discuss and reach a conclusion. On the one hand, the opponents of participating sports

centers

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centres

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claim that nowadays, excessive daily routines lead to gaining better

shape

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For example

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people

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with different kinds of careers have various

activities

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during their weekdays which could be a sort of exercise,

such

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as teachers, staying on their feet all day which means they are enough active to burn fat and stay in

shape

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without joining any health clubs. By

this

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, we mean that

this

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type of activity is suitable to maintain the body in good

shape

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Furthermore

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, others reckon that going to a

gym

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is as costly and time-consuming as doing daily

activities

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For instance

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, some

people

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can not afford to pay tuition for

gym

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classes, and they prefer to do their daily

activities

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by climbing stairs or walking to their office in the morning as a route to increase their heartbeat and increase their metabolism in order to be in

shape

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. Proponents of joining the

gym

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and sports club assert that going to a

gym

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can motivate

people

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to stay fit and have excellent physical condition.

For instance

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, in a

gym

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environment,

people

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see each other. By

this

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, we mean that members of the

gym

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can influence each other and compete with each other to have a better

shape

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Moreover

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, exercise can help obese

people

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who have a sedentary life to become aware of their undesirable situation and seek a remedy for their impairment.

This

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means, going to a

gym

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is a remedy for fat

people

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. In conclusion, it seems more reasonable for many

people

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to go to a

gym

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to have excellent physical condition and be a solution for overweight

people

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to be aware.

While

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other groups believe that routine

activities

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could be enough and the

gym

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is not reasonable because of financial expenses.

TUTOOFri Nov 17 2023

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Coherence & Cohesion

Your essay should have a clear logical structure that is easy for the reader to follow. Consider using more explicit paragraphing and signal words to guide the reader through your arguments and ideas. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and a logical sequence of sentences.

Coherence & Cohesion

Ensure your introduction and conclusion are clearly defined. The introduction should outline the topic and your main points, while the conclusion should summarise these points and restate your opinion. Both should be distinct and clearly present your stance on the issue.

Coherence & Cohesion

Main points should be well-developed and supported with specific examples. In your essay, there were assertions made that lack the supportive detail necessary for a strong argument. Ensure you provide clear examples or evidence to back up each main point.

Task Achievement

You must fully address all parts of the task. The essay prompt asks you to discuss both views and give your own opinion. Make sure that you spend equal amounts of the essay on each view and clearly state your own opinion in the conclusion.

Task Achievement

Your ideas should be clear and comprehensive throughout the essay. While some ideas were present, they could be more thoroughly explained and explored. Work on expanding your points and connect them clearly to the question prompt.

Task Achievement

Include relevant, specific examples to illustrate your ideas. Your essay contained some general examples, but they were not specific enough to effectively support your claims. Aim to provide concrete details that strengthen your arguments.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

382 words

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Some people believe that the best way to stay fit is to join aa gym or a health club, while others think doing everyday activities such as walking and climbing stairs is enough. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Your opinion

Many people choose the travel abroad to learn a foreign language instead of studying in their home town . What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

Reading is more important for devoloping imagination and language skills than television, Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think history has nothing or little to tell us, but others think that studying the past history can help us better understand the present. Please discuss the two views and give your own opinion.

people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?