Some people believe that the best way to stay fit is to join aa gym or a health club, while others think doing everyday activities such as walking and climbing stairs is enough. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Keeping fit and doing some exercises to have an active lifestyle and better health condition are well-discussed matters in the modern world. Numerous
people
have an idea that the best result to be in
shape
is to join a
gym
or health club.
However
, others believe that doing everyday
activities
can have good effects on the body, and there is no necessity to spend time in the gyms to work out. The idea provokes strong arguments, which both sides will discuss and reach a conclusion. On the one hand, the opponents of participating sports
centers
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centres
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claim that nowadays, excessive daily routines lead to gaining better
shape
.
For example
,
people
with different kinds of careers have various
activities
during their weekdays which could be a sort of exercise,
such
as teachers, staying on their feet all day which means they are enough active to burn fat and stay in
shape
without joining any health clubs. By
this
, we mean that
this
type of activity is suitable to maintain the body in good
shape
.
Furthermore
, others reckon that going to a
gym
is as costly and time-consuming as doing daily
activities
.
For instance
, some
people
can not afford to pay tuition for
gym
classes, and they prefer to do their daily
activities
by climbing stairs or walking to their office in the morning as a route to increase their heartbeat and increase their metabolism in order to be in
shape
. Proponents of joining the
gym
and sports club assert that going to a
gym
can motivate
people
to stay fit and have excellent physical condition.
For instance
, in a
gym
environment,
people
see each other. By
this
, we mean that members of the
gym
can influence each other and compete with each other to have a better
shape
.
Moreover
, exercise can help obese
people
who have a sedentary life to become aware of their undesirable situation and seek a remedy for their impairment.
This
means, going to a
gym
is a remedy for fat
people
. In conclusion, it seems more reasonable for many
people
to go to a
gym
to have excellent physical condition and be a solution for overweight
people
to be aware.
While
other groups believe that routine
activities
could be enough and the
gym
is not reasonable because of financial expenses.
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Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay should have a clear logical structure that is easy for the reader to follow. Consider using more explicit paragraphing and signal words to guide the reader through your arguments and ideas. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and a logical sequence of sentences.
Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure your introduction and conclusion are clearly defined. The introduction should outline the topic and your main points, while the conclusion should summarise these points and restate your opinion. Both should be distinct and clearly present your stance on the issue.
Coherence & Cohesion
Main points should be well-developed and supported with specific examples. In your essay, there were assertions made that lack the supportive detail necessary for a strong argument. Ensure you provide clear examples or evidence to back up each main point.
Task Achievement
You must fully address all parts of the task. The essay prompt asks you to discuss both views and give your own opinion. Make sure that you spend equal amounts of the essay on each view and clearly state your own opinion in the conclusion.
Task Achievement
Your ideas should be clear and comprehensive throughout the essay. While some ideas were present, they could be more thoroughly explained and explored. Work on expanding your points and connect them clearly to the question prompt.
Task Achievement
Include relevant, specific examples to illustrate your ideas. Your essay contained some general examples, but they were not specific enough to effectively support your claims. Aim to provide concrete details that strengthen your arguments.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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