An increasing number of children are overweight which could result many problems when they grow older both in terms of their health and healtg care costs. Why do you think so many children are overweight? What could be done to solve this problem?
It is not an easy task to
taking
care of Wrong verb form
take
children
. Nowadays, many parents Use synonyms
faceing
Correct your spelling
facing
problem
of overweight Correct article usage
the problem
children
, Use synonyms
Linking Words
this
will Correct pronoun usage
which
be
affect Unnecessary verb
apply
in
Change preposition
apply
Use synonyms
children
Change noun form
children's
health
and Use synonyms
Use synonyms
health care
Correct your spelling
healthcare
cost
in the Fix the agreement mistake
costs
future
. There are a lot of reasons behind Use synonyms
weight
increase of Correct article usage
the weight
kids
. In Use synonyms
this
Linking Words
essay
I will Add a comma
essay,
disscuss
the causes and solutions for Correct your spelling
discuss
this
issue.
We can highlight Linking Words
the
Correct determiner usage
that
junk
Use synonyms
food
is the main reason for Use synonyms
Use synonyms
kids
Change noun form
kids'
kid's
health
issues. Use synonyms
Due to
, Linking Words
junk
Use synonyms
food
Use synonyms
contained
unhealthy diet Wrong verb form
containing
scuh
as, farm oil, Correct your spelling
such
carbohydreate
, meats .differnt types of Correct your spelling
carbohydrate
carbohydrates
sauses
, MSG and Correct your spelling
sauces
causes
food
flavours.Use synonyms
For example
, most Linking Words
of
Change preposition
apply
the
parents fill their Correct article usage
apply
Use synonyms
kids
snack Change to a genitive case
kid's
kids'
box
Fix the agreement mistake
boxes
from
Change preposition
with
junk
Use synonyms
food
, for Use synonyms
thier
Correct your spelling
their
easyness
Correct your spelling
business
then
Linking Words
this
habit Linking Words
kids
will continue in the Use synonyms
future
. Those things directly affect to growth of Use synonyms
teennager
. As a Correct your spelling
teenager
teenagers
resulf
of Correct your spelling
result
Linking Words
this
we can see Add a comma
this,
overweight
generation in the Correct article usage
an overweight
future
and there are Use synonyms
lot
of side effects of Change the article
a lot
Linking Words
this
unhealthy Correct determiner usage
these
food
habits. Use synonyms
For example
, some Linking Words
researches
have found Correct your spelling
researchers
junk
Use synonyms
food
is one of the Use synonyms
reason
for ADHA Change to a plural noun
reasons
desease
. Correct your spelling
disease
Becasue
of Correct your spelling
Because
Linking Words
this
wrong meal habits people have to spend more money on Correct determiner usage
these
thier
Correct your spelling
their
health
care.
As a solution for Use synonyms
Linking Words
this
I can suggest we want to train them to eat more fruits and vegetables. All mothers and fathers have Add a comma
this,
responsibility
to provide them Add an article
a responsibility
the responsibility
healthy
Change preposition
with healthy
food
, it not should be more expensive but it should be Use synonyms
healthy
meal. Add an article
a healthy
For instance
, Linking Words
parent
can Add an article
a parent
the parent
preapre
their meal always at home Correct your spelling
prepare
instead
of choosing a close Linking Words
restuarent
for Correct your spelling
restaurant
thier
meals. If we train them to eat healthy they will continue Correct your spelling
their
this
habit Linking Words
in
later. Change preposition
apply
This
will help to avoid many Linking Words
health
Use synonyms
isuues
among Correct your spelling
issues
children
.
In conclusion, we all are in busy Use synonyms
scheduale
but we need to give priority Correct your spelling
schedule
for
our Change preposition
to
health
. As a busy parent do not put Use synonyms
junk
Use synonyms
food
in your Use synonyms
child
lunch box choose something healthy Change noun form
child's
instead
of Linking Words
this
. Linking Words
Linking Words
Otherwise
our Add a comma
Otherwise,
future
generation will be in danger of Use synonyms
overwieght
Correct your spelling
overweight
problem
and different Fix the agreement mistake
problems
health
issues.Use synonyms
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coherence cohesion
There are some coherence issues, with sentences not always logically connected or clear. You should ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea which is developed with relevant supporting details.
coherence cohesion
Your essay should have a clear introduction and conclusion. The introduction should outline the main points that will be discussed, and the conclusion should summarize the points made. Both were present but could be more focused and clearer.
coherence cohesion
Use a variety of linking words and phrases to help with the flow of your essay and make your argument more coherent.
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task achievement
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task achievement
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