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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Students at universities often have a choice of places to live. They may choose to live in university dormitories, or they may choose to live in apartments in the community. Compare the advantages of living in university housing with the advantages of living in an apartment in the community. Where would you prefer to live? Give reasons for your preference.

#students #universities #choice #places #university #dormitories #apartments #community #apartment
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University
students
Use synonyms
 can choose in which place they want to live. They can stay either in the university dormitories or in
apartments
Use synonyms
 around the community. Staying in those places
give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
show examples
 several advantages,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
however,
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 I prefer to live in a
dormitory
Use synonyms
 because it is cheaper and near to the campus. The benefits of living in those places will be elaborated below.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, living in
Use synonyms
dormitory
Correct article usage
a dormitory
show examples
 give a student a lot of benefit. University dormitories are provided by the campus authorities.
Students
Use synonyms
 can choose to stay there because the
price
Use synonyms
that is
Linking Words
 offered is affordable, and the location is usually in the campus area.
Besides
Linking Words
 the
price
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,
students
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also
Linking Words
 have the opportunity to meet other
students
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 with different backgrounds and educations. They can increase their networking skills
while
Linking Words
 staying there for a long period.
Thus
Linking Words
, staying in
Use synonyms
dormitory
Add an article
a dormitory
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 is the best choice when it comes to the economic and social aspects. On the other side, living in
apartments
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 has advantages.
Students
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 who prefer quiet and personal space can choose to stay in an apartment. Even though the
price
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 is more expensive than the dormitories,
apartments
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 have several facilities that can support
students
Use synonyms
’
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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,
such
Linking Words
 as
great
Correct article usage
a great
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 security system, health facilities (gym, pool), etc.
Apartments
Use synonyms
 are usually located in strategic areas and surrounded by many public infrastructures that are accessible to
students
Use synonyms
. Based on those advantages, staying in
apartments
Use synonyms
 will give more comfort. In conclusion,
students
Use synonyms
 have their own references on where they want to stay during the study period. The choices can be based on the
price
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, location and facilities that are offered.
However
Linking Words
, I will choose to stay in a
dormitory
Use synonyms
 because it is affordable, and I can interact with more people and build a
networking
Replace the word
network
show examples
.
Submitted by jxnxy01 on

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coherence cohesion
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task achievement
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