IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that printed books are no longer needed in the digital era because all writing can be stored electronically. Others think that printed books will still play an important role. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays, some believe that
paper
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books
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 are unnecessary than electronic
books
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 because they think all kinds of
paper
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books
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 can be preserved in the digital era.
In contrast
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, other
people
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 think that
paper
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books
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 should not disappear, which still important role in society.
This
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 essay will discuss both sides point of the opinion and argue in favour of the latter. On the one hand, the electronic
book
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 has obvious benefit in the world.
Firstly
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, digital
books
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 are stored more easily than publication
books
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, which can use less space to preserve more
books
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 than
paper
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books
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.
For instance
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, in libraries we can see more bookcases to collect
books
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,
by contrast
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,
e-
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books
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 can be stored on a laptop or other small computer devices, which is more convenient to read and find more time in libraries to research
books
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.
Although
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e-
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books
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 are more convenient for us, and
also
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 can save the environment
,
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apply
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 because they do not cut trees to publish
books
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.
On the other hand
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, they
also
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 will hurt the reader’s eyesight, when
people
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 see the screen more time, but the light of the printed
book
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 is much softer than the electronic
book
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. Publish
books
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 can save the
writer
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's authority more than
e-
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books
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. The internet can speed share the literature,
for example
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, if
people
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 read some interesting
book
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 they research the internet and find the website, which they register their username, so they can be free to read the
book
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, these steps will
be
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apply
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violate the
writer
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's right. In conclusion, my opinion is that I support
people
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can
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apply
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not
leave
Wrong verb form
leaving
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printed
books
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, because
e-
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books
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also
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can
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apply
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from the
writer
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, and
paper
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books
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 can protect the
writer
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's rights.

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Coherence & Cohesion
The essay lacks clear logical structure, with ideas being somewhat unorganized and transitions between them abrupt. To improve, you should focus on making your paragraphs follow a more logical order, ensuring that each paragraph opens with a clear topic sentence and that the ideas within the paragraphs are linked effectively using transition words.
Coherence & Cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, but they are not effectively crafted. The introduction needs to have a clear outline of the discussion points, and the conclusion should succinctly summarize the main arguments and clearly state the writer's position. Spend more time crafting these key parts of the essay to guide the reader through your argument.
Coherence & Cohesion
While you have attempted to support your main points, the development of these points is rather basic. Incorporating more detailed explanations, along with relevant and specific examples, would strengthen your essay. To enhance the quality of your essay, work on expanding your paragraphs with more depth and clear, illustrative examples that directly support your claims.
Task Achievement
Though an attempt to respond to the task has been made, the response lacks full completion. It's important to explore all parts of the prompt equally, which includes discussing both views in detail and providing your own reasoned opinion. Focus on expanding your discussion to fully address all elements of the task.
Task Achievement
Your ideas are present but not expressed in a clear and comprehensive manner, which may lead to misunderstandings. It's essential to clarify your ideas by expressing them in a direct and unambiguous way. Using simple and precise language can help make your points clearer to the reader.
Task Achievement
Specific examples to support your arguments are either lacking or insufficiently developed. For a higher band score, ensure that each main idea is accompanied by relevant examples to reinforce your argument. Adding real-life scenarios or concrete evidence can greatly enhance your essay's persuasive power.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • revolutionized access
  • carry thousands of books in a single device
  • eliminating the need for physical storage space
  • environmentally friendly
  • reduce the carbon footprint
  • adjustable font sizes
  • integrated dictionaries
  • enhance the reading experience
  • tangible experience
  • distinct smell of paper
  • do not rely on electronic devices
  • battery life or device malfunctions
  • perception of greater legitimacy and trustworthiness
  • academic circles
  • extensive reading materials
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