IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

It has been observed that in many countries notenoughstudentsarechoosingto studyscience subjects at university. What do you think are the causes of the problem? What are the effects on society

#countries #notenoughstudentsarechoosingto #studyscience #subjects #university #effects #society
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Subjects
 are the most important factor
to attract
Change preposition
in attracting
show examples
 learners
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 universities.
Science
subjects
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
also
 play a valuable position,
however
, students tend to refuse these units because of their theoretical information.
This
 trend can lead to the decreasing enthusiasm in
science
 areas and the
lack
 of
laborours
Correct your spelling
labour
 in these
fields
.
Science
fields
 are always sophisticated
theory
Fix the agreement mistake
theories
show examples
,
therefore
,
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 must
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
try hard when
obserbed
Correct your spelling
observing
 them or actually wisdom.
Accordingly
, they are not familiar with all people.
In addition
, these
subjects
 are not actually valuable with the careers because they are complicated to apply in reality.
Moreover
, the number of opportunities in
science
 areas is limited and typically narrowed. Meanwhile, young people tend to learn easy things
or
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
which can support
effectively
Correct pronoun usage
them effectively
show examples
 for their
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
.
Therefore
, students tend to learn reality
subjects
 other than
science
subjects
.
This
 phenomenon can lead to the
lack
 of employees in
science
fields
. Even
these
Correct word choice
though these
show examples
subjects
 are limiting the
leaners
Correct your spelling
learners
show examples
,
however
, they still take an important position because of the majority
patents
Change preposition
of patents
show examples
 or revolutions generated from them.
Hence
, the
lack
 of learners in these
fields
 can lead to the
reducing
Replace the word
reduced
show examples
 enthusiasm in
science
then
 the progress of development is
also
 limited. In conclusion, the theoretical and unrealistic content of
science
subjects
 can reduce the
intersting
Correct your spelling
interest
 of students.
This
 can lead to
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
lack
 of enthusiasm
people
Change preposition
for people
show examples
 in
science
fields
.
Submitted by huong.bx on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure your essay has a clear structure with distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Introduce the topic and your thesis statement clearly in the introduction. Develop each main point in its own paragraph, and have a summarising conclusion that reflects on the main points discussed.
coherence cohesion
Use a range of cohesive devices to help the reader follow the argument and make the text more coherent. Devices such as 'firstly', 'secondly', 'in addition', 'however', and 'therefore' can be used to show the relationship between ideas.
task achievement
Address all parts of the task, ensuring that your response is both relevant and complete. Make sure to discuss the causes and the effects on society as the question asks, offering specific examples to strengthen your points.
coherence cohesion
Check your essay for grammatical accuracy and range of vocabulary. Consider sentence structure, verb tense consistency, and the correct use of prepositions and articles. Diversify your vocabulary to effectively convey your ideas and demonstrate a high level of English proficiency.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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