Some think that private companies should clean up pollution, while others say it is the government’s responsibility.
Some
people
say that special companies should clean up the outside,others people
have the notion that the government
is liable. In my opinion, the government
is responsibility
ı will outline the reason in the following paragraphs.
Replace the word
responsible
To begin
with, the government
must clean up in
the Change preposition
apply
street
and should pay attention to these subjects because nowadays, the entire world has dirty Fix the agreement mistake
streets
pollution
and then
the ministry has
not any motion relevant to the topics Verb problem
does
due to
people
not having regular information therefore
everyone has not thought of these ideas. People
just consider that somebody should do something duty hence
some people
who do not want to think about the issues, say that the private companies might care to work. In fact, the government
should implement this
liability because every person has to give money because of the tax. that's why the ministry should product
our Correct your spelling
protect
live
Replace the word
lives
in
Change preposition
from
the
Correct article usage
apply
pollution
particularly, in the street hence
we need to articulate to government
Correct article usage
the government
furthermore
, we would like a
safety Correct article usage
apply
the
field which Change preposition
in the
live
Change the verb form
lives
for instance
, Correct article usage
the Germany
Germany
public wanted Correct your spelling
German
to
Change preposition
apply
a
regular air Remove the article
apply
pollution
because according to
the New York Times investigating every person might be catch
some disease Change the verb form
catch
due to
air pollution
after that people
have applied that the government
process and then
german
Add an article
the german
government
has prepared the new laws. in addition
, in my country should have done same
to ways but we should found routes to fight back if we Correct article usage
the same
do
not have find any Wrong verb form
did
ways
Fix the agreement mistake
way
probably
, we could Rephrase
apply
be died
our body fastly.
In conclusion, the Change to the active voice
die
have died
government
can find ways to fight pollution
and protect our lives. The ministry should do its own responsibility.Submitted by iremerdem017 on
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coherence cohesion
Your essay lacks a clear logical structure, which makes it difficult for the reader to follow your argument. Consider using paragraphs to separate different ideas and ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea supported by relevant information.
coherence cohesion
You have included an introduction and conclusion, but they are not clearly delineated or fully developed. Make sure your introduction sets out the topic and your stance clearly, while your conclusion summarizes the main points of your argument and restates your position.
coherence cohesion
Main points in your essay need better support. Aim to back up each assertion with clear examples or evidence. You should also work on explaining how these points relate to your overall argument.
task achievement
Your response to the task is partial and needs to be more fully developed. You should aim to address all aspects of the prompt in a balanced manner.
task achievement
Your essay would benefit from clearer and more comprehensive ideas. Work on developing your thoughts more fully and expressing your points more clearly to help the reader understand your position.
task achievement
The use of specific examples is good practice in supporting your argument. However, the examples you provided are not entirely relevant or well-explained. Seek to draw on more directly relevant examples and elaborate on them to strengthen your points.
Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.
A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).
Stick to this essay structure:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion